I got chai from Brewing Market this morning because I only got 3 hours of sleep. It's really good. I also got a really good like cranberry raisen cinammon bagel. Spiffy is such a neato word, daddio. Sorry, like I said, three hours of sleep.
Anyway last night and we had it at my place. This gave me the excuse to go massive cleaning on the place. Arwen is going to come home (she was in LA doing her taping for Wheel of Fortune this week) and wonder a) why the kitchen looks really pretty nice and b) why my room is as clean, if not cleaner, than it was for 4th of July and c) why settlers of catan is on the dinning room table. I need to have people over more often so that it will remain this clean but I will try my best to keep it that way anyway. The only things I havent done are scrubbed my bathtub, vaccumed the rest of the house and mopped the kitchen. Anyway the second bookshelf and moving my bed have really helped in organizing my room better. I will try and coax my camera to work and take some photos. I will also upload photos of the boys having a pissing contest-- I mean battling their forces after the game was over because well... they wanted to see who was better. Oh and by "they" I mean Matt and Chewy.
Let me go back to Thursday night. Matt and hung out for a while, we went to the game store on Arapahoe which was having it's "new game Thursday". I had been to this game store once before but it was pretty empty and Chewy and I were just having a look around while we waited for the other gamers to call one aternoon. So Matt and I introduced ourselves to the owner. I let Matt do most of the talking since I fairly noob at the whole board game lingo. The guy showed us around, we turn the corner and there were a bunch of RPGers (role playing gamers) playing a game, all male, and upon entering the room all the guys turn and give the "Oh my god, its a girl!!" look. It was a little awkward for me but I enjoyed it. I've been to enough geeky things... conventions of all sorts, meetings, classes, etc where being female is an odd thing and they are shocked. My fav is video games gatherings in which they go "what do you know?... you are just a girl... girls don't play video games..." and then I proceed to kick their asses. Anyway I stuck close to Matt as we wandered and talked with people. We left to go get dinner and were laughing in the car about "attacking the darkness" since we are not RPGers. We almost stopped into another game/comic book store but it was closed. Matt said he wouldn't have the nerve to go in the store unless I was there, I have the shock "girl" disabler for gamers. We went to Thunderbird and I struck up a coversation with one of the workers who lived in South Africa (honestly I have been craving a good Aussie burger lately, pineapple & beet... mmm). Matt and I talked about RPGers and games, etc. etc. It was fun.
So anyway we played games at my place on Saturday, I started to get a migraine about halfway through a round of Dracula which really sucked because Matt had do the thinking for the both us. Matt was super sweet after the game though when I had to get gas and whatnot.
Sonntag, November 19, 2006
Sonntag, November 12, 2006
My crazy brain
Okay so I am trying not to have a crush on Lucas only because I don't want shit to fly and get weird... yeah much harder than I thought. *sigh* Last night I had a dream we were playing this pirate game and it was a mix of gaming people and radio station and my other friends. It was a really fun pirate game in that the hex tiles were about the size of city blocks and when we built stuff it actually well was real. Again, Lucas and I were romantically involved but unlike some of my dreams, none of the friends (his, mine or mutual) freaked out. Anyway I am not sure where the pirate thing came from but you know when you have playing too many bard games when...
At least it's better than video game dreams.
Friday night Matt, Chewy and I did our Battlestar and board games. Matt won more Settlers and we played a few rounds of Dracula (which no matter who wins... I really like that game, it's really fun). I can't wait to get the Settlers expansions... either to 5-6 or Cities & Knights, both will be super fun.
I felt better yesterday.... like almost 100% better. Not sure why. Chai tea and Taco Bell the secret to feeling good?? (that was my breakfast)... that just seems wrong for Taco Bell to fix something. Let's see yesterday I didn't sleep and then did my show, had "breakfast" and watched an amazing sunrise... it made me want to paint which I may do some at one point or another. Then I went home and slept after my show. Picked up Chewy and we went to gaming store (that place is fun!) and picked up food and headed over to Matt's place.
We watched V for Vendetta while Brad did Calc homework. I really like that movie. We played some Settlers (Matt took a break to cook... okay well also we would have won if we played him) and Chewy won. Brad and I played Memoir against Matt, we were the Germans and won. That game is really neat. We had dinner and watched Hackers. We then played a 4 person modified TI game... and for once in like ever... I was actually a threat. I am so proud of myself for actually building so much a being a threat. :) I nearly got wiped out with one roll of the die... would have been a very different game had it gone my way with that. Anyway Matt won and although I was kinda shafted at times (I mean who isn't in board games), I really like the mod 4 person. We called it a night at 4am.... Matt was really awesome for hosting two nights in a row till 4am.
Today... I think it is going to be good. I am super optimistic and very happy. I only need one good day with my spinal vertigo to bring my optimism back (it gets killed at about day 3 of being stuck in bed). My dad gets back from China today and it'll be good to hear how that was. Okay off to attempt to do about, well 5 million things. :-D
At least it's better than video game dreams.
Friday night Matt, Chewy and I did our Battlestar and board games. Matt won more Settlers and we played a few rounds of Dracula (which no matter who wins... I really like that game, it's really fun). I can't wait to get the Settlers expansions... either to 5-6 or Cities & Knights, both will be super fun.
I felt better yesterday.... like almost 100% better. Not sure why. Chai tea and Taco Bell the secret to feeling good?? (that was my breakfast)... that just seems wrong for Taco Bell to fix something. Let's see yesterday I didn't sleep and then did my show, had "breakfast" and watched an amazing sunrise... it made me want to paint which I may do some at one point or another. Then I went home and slept after my show. Picked up Chewy and we went to gaming store (that place is fun!) and picked up food and headed over to Matt's place.
We watched V for Vendetta while Brad did Calc homework. I really like that movie. We played some Settlers (Matt took a break to cook... okay well also we would have won if we played him) and Chewy won. Brad and I played Memoir against Matt, we were the Germans and won. That game is really neat. We had dinner and watched Hackers. We then played a 4 person modified TI game... and for once in like ever... I was actually a threat. I am so proud of myself for actually building so much a being a threat. :) I nearly got wiped out with one roll of the die... would have been a very different game had it gone my way with that. Anyway Matt won and although I was kinda shafted at times (I mean who isn't in board games), I really like the mod 4 person. We called it a night at 4am.... Matt was really awesome for hosting two nights in a row till 4am.
Today... I think it is going to be good. I am super optimistic and very happy. I only need one good day with my spinal vertigo to bring my optimism back (it gets killed at about day 3 of being stuck in bed). My dad gets back from China today and it'll be good to hear how that was. Okay off to attempt to do about, well 5 million things. :-D
Donnerstag, November 09, 2006
Been in bed since Monday. Figured out who my real friends are in this world, the ones who actually talk to you and worry about you when you are sick. No more crush either, it's all good, he doesn't care about me as to inquire how I am so I am not going to care about him. :-p
I guess I should mention I am drugged up right now too... I took the muscle relaxer my doctor prescribed.... I only took half and I am really drugged up, guess I should get into bed before the room gets too blurry and spinny.
I guess I should mention I am drugged up right now too... I took the muscle relaxer my doctor prescribed.... I only took half and I am really drugged up, guess I should get into bed before the room gets too blurry and spinny.
Montag, November 06, 2006
I am not sure what is going on and it is kinda starting to scare the shit of of me but I am doing worse than I have been in the last 3 weeks. All I have been able to do today is sleep and I can barely eat, walk, etc. If I make it to my car okay, I'll drive to campus. If not, I am calling a cab. I would take the bus but stomach is too quesy.
Damnit
My body is getting worse again. I am not sure why but I am going to try to keep fighting so that I don't go back the point of the bed-ridden veg. That would just make me more frustrated.
I was trying to not have a crush on Lucas which seemed to be working. I was trying to tell myself why it wouldn't work, that he is not attracted to me, etc. etc. cause I just see myself getting burned. Then what does my brain do? Oh just have an entire dream devoted to Lucas and why he is such a great guy including saving me again (in my dream I fell because of my balance and stopped breathing and he gave me mouth to mouth). The entire dream we were laughing and smiling and making out... and argh stupid head. No, I shouldn't have a crush on him! Not because he is unattractive, I find him incredibly attractive but he is completely unobtainable because I am pretty certain he has no interest in me. Whatever it's just a small crush, I'll deal with it.
Game night... Matt won the first round of Settlers. TI was sucky for me, mostly cause I've been this total space cadet since I started getting this spinal vertigo thing. Matt took my home system. This is like the 4 or 5th game in a row that my home system has been taken. But whatever, I didn't figure it would go well for me anyway. I got knocked out of the game and played Halo for a bit just to blow stuff up and pass the time. I am not there was a winner in TI, it was really intense at the end. Settlers, Matt won again. I did win Frog Juice which despite it being a simple game I was fairly happy to win for the first time in a long time... I am pretty sure the more you have to think in these games, the less likely I am to win because my head is just really messed up right now. Between the vertigo and medication... I am screwed. But that's okay, I like hanging out and playing board games even if I seem like a total idiot but if I win one game of whatever occasionally, I'm happy.
I bought two video games on Friday and neither will play on my Xbox. I need to take them back (Sims and Myst 4). Which if they give me money back that'd be great cause I shouldn't have spent it, I was in one of my very down moods on Friday which just leads to self pitty and buying video games so I can zone out for a few more hours and not have to deal with things. I am going to stop trying to do that.
Not sure how today is going to be... I am not doing well right now... so we'll see. I wish I had a trike bike so I didn't have to worry about balance and could build up my strength and go for a ride. I think I'll build p my strength for the gym, lift weights again. Can't do cardio unfort because I would fall off the machine.
I really could use someone to talk to and hugs lately. I think that is why Lucas is always so appealing in my dreams, he is sweet and wants to listen and be there and I am just a sucker for caring smart guys.
I was trying to not have a crush on Lucas which seemed to be working. I was trying to tell myself why it wouldn't work, that he is not attracted to me, etc. etc. cause I just see myself getting burned. Then what does my brain do? Oh just have an entire dream devoted to Lucas and why he is such a great guy including saving me again (in my dream I fell because of my balance and stopped breathing and he gave me mouth to mouth). The entire dream we were laughing and smiling and making out... and argh stupid head. No, I shouldn't have a crush on him! Not because he is unattractive, I find him incredibly attractive but he is completely unobtainable because I am pretty certain he has no interest in me. Whatever it's just a small crush, I'll deal with it.
Game night... Matt won the first round of Settlers. TI was sucky for me, mostly cause I've been this total space cadet since I started getting this spinal vertigo thing. Matt took my home system. This is like the 4 or 5th game in a row that my home system has been taken. But whatever, I didn't figure it would go well for me anyway. I got knocked out of the game and played Halo for a bit just to blow stuff up and pass the time. I am not there was a winner in TI, it was really intense at the end. Settlers, Matt won again. I did win Frog Juice which despite it being a simple game I was fairly happy to win for the first time in a long time... I am pretty sure the more you have to think in these games, the less likely I am to win because my head is just really messed up right now. Between the vertigo and medication... I am screwed. But that's okay, I like hanging out and playing board games even if I seem like a total idiot but if I win one game of whatever occasionally, I'm happy.
I bought two video games on Friday and neither will play on my Xbox. I need to take them back (Sims and Myst 4). Which if they give me money back that'd be great cause I shouldn't have spent it, I was in one of my very down moods on Friday which just leads to self pitty and buying video games so I can zone out for a few more hours and not have to deal with things. I am going to stop trying to do that.
Not sure how today is going to be... I am not doing well right now... so we'll see. I wish I had a trike bike so I didn't have to worry about balance and could build up my strength and go for a ride. I think I'll build p my strength for the gym, lift weights again. Can't do cardio unfort because I would fall off the machine.
I really could use someone to talk to and hugs lately. I think that is why Lucas is always so appealing in my dreams, he is sweet and wants to listen and be there and I am just a sucker for caring smart guys.
Samstag, November 04, 2006
Lucas, etc.
So basically this situation with Lucas is kinda messed up. I've decided hat I really can't hit on him due to the nature of things blowing up in my face (which happens everytime I take intiative on these things). I am sure if I did I would get immediately rejected followed by total akwardness that would just lead to the dissolvement of our friendship. A couple of my friends tell me I should just go for it, but that only really works on random strangers whom you ask out cause there is nothing really to lose except pride. I am cool stepping back and not doing anything. This doesn't mean however that I am going to stop flirting with him (or that I have stop dreaming about him which still kinda freaks me out). A girl has to do something to keep them guessing. They say if you kiss someone in a dream it means that you respect them, which is true in Lucas' case.
Speaking of guessing, I also wonder how many people think I am a lesbian or bi. I find it kinda funny actually. IF I were... I would already have a girlfriend, seriously, those are so much easier to come by. Although I am betting some people thing that I am dating Londyn (sorry Amy, I ment to tell you...). My life would be easier if I were lesbian, hella more drama but at least I could find a date every once in a while instead of never.
Game night: so last night Chewy, Matt and I played Settlers... 4 games, Matt won them all. We also watched Battlestar Galatica which is a good show, I just feel I need to catch up so much. Also needs more explosions. And more Starbuck being her pilot badass self. It was fun hanging out. As of late it feels like I have very few peoplel I can just chill with.. I think this is still this post "everyone graduating and moving on to the real world" sort of thing. Like Amanda and I would just hang out some afternoon and bake cookies and watch TV. I miss that sort of thing. I've been watching movies at home by myself and it's been vaguely depressing, same with concerts and shows. I still haven't found a person who is just up for my random "let's go do something!!" moments. Most people are too busy... or weirded out by me and/or my choice in what we do. Smeh.
Sarah shadowed my show today, she was really good for a new DJ.
My body is still fucked up but I am dealing with it. I think it is part of the reason I am so down is because I can't really do any major mental or physical activities... I am reduced to a little old lady watching her stories and doing laundry. I can barely read a few pages without my head exploding in pain... it's ridiculous.
Well I am going to try and see how my balance is and maybe go to the gym. Then pass out for a bit or visversa... all depends on my head.
Speaking of guessing, I also wonder how many people think I am a lesbian or bi. I find it kinda funny actually. IF I were... I would already have a girlfriend, seriously, those are so much easier to come by. Although I am betting some people thing that I am dating Londyn (sorry Amy, I ment to tell you...). My life would be easier if I were lesbian, hella more drama but at least I could find a date every once in a while instead of never.
Game night: so last night Chewy, Matt and I played Settlers... 4 games, Matt won them all. We also watched Battlestar Galatica which is a good show, I just feel I need to catch up so much. Also needs more explosions. And more Starbuck being her pilot badass self. It was fun hanging out. As of late it feels like I have very few peoplel I can just chill with.. I think this is still this post "everyone graduating and moving on to the real world" sort of thing. Like Amanda and I would just hang out some afternoon and bake cookies and watch TV. I miss that sort of thing. I've been watching movies at home by myself and it's been vaguely depressing, same with concerts and shows. I still haven't found a person who is just up for my random "let's go do something!!" moments. Most people are too busy... or weirded out by me and/or my choice in what we do. Smeh.
Sarah shadowed my show today, she was really good for a new DJ.
My body is still fucked up but I am dealing with it. I think it is part of the reason I am so down is because I can't really do any major mental or physical activities... I am reduced to a little old lady watching her stories and doing laundry. I can barely read a few pages without my head exploding in pain... it's ridiculous.
Well I am going to try and see how my balance is and maybe go to the gym. Then pass out for a bit or visversa... all depends on my head.
Mittwoch, November 01, 2006
Halloween!
Halloween this year was pretty fun, didn't go to any parties.. I actually only knew of a few that was like "friend of a friend's friend" situations... which I just find terribly awkward and weird. Anyway dressed up as Go-Go Yubari from Kill Bill and went into work for Tuesday. I even *gasp* wore my contacts. I think I pulled it off pretty well. My hair isn't quite long enough (and my boobs are too big)... but whatever. People recognized it and thought it was pretty good. I think I look horrible in this photo but it's the only one I've got.
Mike (our GM) dressed up in an old man mask and a Dead shirt and was KGNU. I wish I had a photo, it was hilarious.
Anyway I went with Rachel who lived on my floor last year in Hallett and Matt to Loki's Halloween show. Rachel went as a fairy in a costume she made herself and Matt was a naval officer which he pulled off really well. We all looked super hot. It was a total blast and we all had fun but it went much later than I expected.
I felt like a badass carrying that mace around all day. Dressing up like a killer school girl is too much fun, especially since that skirt is my aussie school uniform skirt.
I think right now I am going to dig around for my weight lifting gloves and try to hit up the gym before I have to go in for work. Lots of volunteers to train tonight.
Montag, Oktober 30, 2006
I might be a tutor
I ran into my old HD tonight while going to pick up Rachel from Hallett to go shopping. Andrea asid she had just sent me an e-mail about doing Geology tutoring for housing. It's $9.50 an hour and they only need me for 4 hours a week.
More details to come... but I might be teaching freshmen about rocks.
Also I forgot to post this but the ex decided to drop an apology letter in my box at the station.... I am not sure what I am going to do, I am not even sure if I want to deal with it right now.
More details to come... but I might be teaching freshmen about rocks.
Also I forgot to post this but the ex decided to drop an apology letter in my box at the station.... I am not sure what I am going to do, I am not even sure if I want to deal with it right now.
The weekend is over update
Last night I had a dream (that actually didn't involve Lucas this time) that Conor (our promo director) went missing for like a week, we were a little concerned but we kinda figured he like skipped out or something. Well one day Ed (promo assistant) pulls me aside and says that he's the one who made Conor disappear. He wanted to take over promotions and their show Under the Mattress for a while. So we go down the hall and there are these largish lockers, Ed opens one up and there is Conor all drugged up in one of the lockers. Ed uses some ether to wake him up then we pull the slightly dazed Conor out of the locker and helped him back to the station. Conor didn't remember anything and I was the only one that knew what Ed did.
Weird dream.
This weekend was really pretty good... Friday was when Matt and I went to the movie which was way fun. Saturday I got my Halloween costume together... this is the first time I have done my costume so last minute but I am going to be Go-Go from Kill Bill. My hair really isn't as long as hers but other than that and the patch on her jacket (which I am going to do a print out of and tape on), I have got the costume pretty much set. I went to bed at 7 pm because my body just gave up on staying awake. Sunday I played some of Destroy All Humans! 2, which like the original is pretty fun. Matt, Chewy, Brad, Ben and I did game night at Ben's house. We played Fury, Flux (which I enjoy), Nuclear War, Settlers, and Mille Bourne. We took a break and went to BJs and I spent far too much money on food, I am going to have to eat cheaply the next few days until the rent check.
Weird dream.
This weekend was really pretty good... Friday was when Matt and I went to the movie which was way fun. Saturday I got my Halloween costume together... this is the first time I have done my costume so last minute but I am going to be Go-Go from Kill Bill. My hair really isn't as long as hers but other than that and the patch on her jacket (which I am going to do a print out of and tape on), I have got the costume pretty much set. I went to bed at 7 pm because my body just gave up on staying awake. Sunday I played some of Destroy All Humans! 2, which like the original is pretty fun. Matt, Chewy, Brad, Ben and I did game night at Ben's house. We played Fury, Flux (which I enjoy), Nuclear War, Settlers, and Mille Bourne. We took a break and went to BJs and I spent far too much money on food, I am going to have to eat cheaply the next few days until the rent check.
Freitag, Oktober 27, 2006
Today
Today was amazing. Totally.
I only got 5 hours of sleep since I trained DJs till 4am and didn't really get into bed until about 5am (it was really fun hanging out with the volunteers and eating pizza at 3am). I had a doctor's appointment this morning (ENT, Ear, Nose, Throat). Got a hearing test done... it was excellent.... still have awesome hearing. Most people on the scale from 0 (excellent) to 50 (bad) are a 25... I am a 5 on most frequencies in both ears. So I don't have a viral infection, I don't have a brain tumor... I have cervical vertigo. It means my neck is too tight and fucking me up. Oh! Nearly forgot to take my meds for it before I went to bed... they gave me muscle relaxers (read: stupid pills) that are supposed to help, and I get to go to physical therapy for it. Should be gone in two weeks.... yay!!
Worked at the station which is always fun. Last day as traffic director... Jenny starts on Monday. I am glad to be doing a new and different job.... traffic is important but I like training a bit more... much more interactive and fun. Jenny and I have decided to share the desk and the computer (it's name is "stupid son of a bitch why won't you work")(meh. it's old, whatev, nothing I can do about it). But that'll be nice because I like having a desk area and a vaguely functioning computer to work on. And Matt set me up my own training login.
Speaking of Matt... so I went home and showered and changed and then Matt and I went and saw Scanner Darkly at IFS. Pretty good movie.... weird ending but it's Dick so his endings are weird. It was pretty true to the book from what I've read of it. Yeah.. so went and got Chinese and Boba afterwards and Matt told me also sorts of great stories about living in Singapore and summers in Australia as a teenage marine biologist pirate. It was a blast. I haven't laughed that much in over a month... I love hanging out with him.
Well should get to bed. The pill I took is starting to kick in... don't think I've ever taking something that a side effect is blurred vision... this is a new one. I am only one this for a week or two. At least I am off any meds, I hate being on medications, maybe my migraines will go away...I'll have a grand party when that happens... maybe when I get better in a week or two I can actually start hitting the gym again. I've been dying to go but my balance has been too messed up.
I only got 5 hours of sleep since I trained DJs till 4am and didn't really get into bed until about 5am (it was really fun hanging out with the volunteers and eating pizza at 3am). I had a doctor's appointment this morning (ENT, Ear, Nose, Throat). Got a hearing test done... it was excellent.... still have awesome hearing. Most people on the scale from 0 (excellent) to 50 (bad) are a 25... I am a 5 on most frequencies in both ears. So I don't have a viral infection, I don't have a brain tumor... I have cervical vertigo. It means my neck is too tight and fucking me up. Oh! Nearly forgot to take my meds for it before I went to bed... they gave me muscle relaxers (read: stupid pills) that are supposed to help, and I get to go to physical therapy for it. Should be gone in two weeks.... yay!!
Worked at the station which is always fun. Last day as traffic director... Jenny starts on Monday. I am glad to be doing a new and different job.... traffic is important but I like training a bit more... much more interactive and fun. Jenny and I have decided to share the desk and the computer (it's name is "stupid son of a bitch why won't you work")(meh. it's old, whatev, nothing I can do about it). But that'll be nice because I like having a desk area and a vaguely functioning computer to work on. And Matt set me up my own training login.
Speaking of Matt... so I went home and showered and changed and then Matt and I went and saw Scanner Darkly at IFS. Pretty good movie.... weird ending but it's Dick so his endings are weird. It was pretty true to the book from what I've read of it. Yeah.. so went and got Chinese and Boba afterwards and Matt told me also sorts of great stories about living in Singapore and summers in Australia as a teenage marine biologist pirate. It was a blast. I haven't laughed that much in over a month... I love hanging out with him.
Well should get to bed. The pill I took is starting to kick in... don't think I've ever taking something that a side effect is blurred vision... this is a new one. I am only one this for a week or two. At least I am off any meds, I hate being on medications, maybe my migraines will go away...I'll have a grand party when that happens... maybe when I get better in a week or two I can actually start hitting the gym again. I've been dying to go but my balance has been too messed up.
Donnerstag, Oktober 26, 2006
Officially!!
Finally it has been announced that I am officially the training director at Radio 1190. (after about 3 weeks of semi-secrecy) I am so excited, and a little nervous. I have a pack of volunteers coming in tonight to get trained... and no Loki, totally solo, he super sick apparently. As long as he sends me the training packet as promised, I should be fine... otherwise it'll be a bit impromptu... well more so then it already is.So Monday is when Jenny starts my old job of Traffic Director and I need to wrap somethings up this weekend before she takes over. I think she is a little nervous about the job but she'll do fine.
Well I need to plan Culture Clash... maybe a Scandinavian night tonight.
Surprises
I got done training Ben (brand new DJ) at the station and it was snowing like a blizzard. I felt really bad cause I am sure Matt walked home in it, if he would have stayed I would have gladly given him a ride... I didn't know it was going to snow.
Matt and Eric cleaned the board... so nice... without an inch thick of grim it almost feels like we aren't in some dank basement doing radio. The mold always reminds me otherwise.
Matt cracks me up. Everytime I hang out with him it just makes me want to hang out with him more... he was playing fab jazz while he and Eric cleaned the board. Ben and I were waiting until they were done so Ben could do his training. Then Matt puts in Covenant, I so didn't see him as a Covenant sort of person. It made me smile. It also made me desperately want to go to the Church and go clubbing.
Speaking of, I have decided to change my Halloween costume because on short notice I am not ready to do Uma from Pulp Fiction... instead I think I am going to go as an emo/goth chick... like hardcore with bandages on my wrists and everything.
Matt and Eric cleaned the board... so nice... without an inch thick of grim it almost feels like we aren't in some dank basement doing radio. The mold always reminds me otherwise.
Matt cracks me up. Everytime I hang out with him it just makes me want to hang out with him more... he was playing fab jazz while he and Eric cleaned the board. Ben and I were waiting until they were done so Ben could do his training. Then Matt puts in Covenant, I so didn't see him as a Covenant sort of person. It made me smile. It also made me desperately want to go to the Church and go clubbing.
Speaking of, I have decided to change my Halloween costume because on short notice I am not ready to do Uma from Pulp Fiction... instead I think I am going to go as an emo/goth chick... like hardcore with bandages on my wrists and everything.
Montag, Oktober 23, 2006
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Well okay I thought I was okay... won't be able to graduate this December but rather in the summer... have my Geology major, my music business certificate... do time out program at Boulder for Spring, enroll at UCD and do my last three music biz classes at Denver as well as Paleontology which I need to graduate, one last crit thinking course over the summer... wheeh done....
Well it turns out the last class I would need for Music Business Certificate isn't offered in the Spring. Fuck me. I would have to wait till Fall 2007 to finish. Great, a 7th fucking year senior.
And I am still not getting better. Fuck.
Oh and I got an apology from my ex. It was a letter in my box this morning. I really don't have the energy to deal with it right now.
I am just really frustrated right now. I am going to try to go to the gym tomorrow and lift weights, I need to get some aggression/frustration out. Hopefully I feel well enough to go. I need it.
This whatever it is.. "sickness" has been slowly wearing my optimism down.
Well it turns out the last class I would need for Music Business Certificate isn't offered in the Spring. Fuck me. I would have to wait till Fall 2007 to finish. Great, a 7th fucking year senior.
And I am still not getting better. Fuck.
Oh and I got an apology from my ex. It was a letter in my box this morning. I really don't have the energy to deal with it right now.
I am just really frustrated right now. I am going to try to go to the gym tomorrow and lift weights, I need to get some aggression/frustration out. Hopefully I feel well enough to go. I need it.
This whatever it is.. "sickness" has been slowly wearing my optimism down.
Real food.
I made eggs in the microwave this morning since I am supposed to be eating protein at each meal (according to my massage therapist). Since I couldn't reach the olive oil, I used Pam for Baking, and yes... my eggs have a slight "cookie" taste. Kinda weird. Still good though, at least I was able to cook something for myself.
Sonntag, Oktober 22, 2006
Dream boy is back
I dreamed about him again, the friend who I see 2-3 times a week and apparently my sub-conscious is infatuated with him. It's weird too, lately... well I haven't been dreaming at all.. or at least not remembering them which is very strange for me.
Last night I dreamed that is was like half my life (with guest apperances from people I haven't seen in years like Kate, my Matty, and Annie) and Bard's Tale. Well at least it wasn't a cross between my life and Ringu or Eye 2. (I watched Ringu 0 the other day... really really weird... kinda reminded me of Suicide Club).
Anyway in my dream the boy (I still haven't come up with a codename for him...)... er Lucas... from know on he's Lucas, because sometimes he reminds me of Lucas from Empire Records.
So anyway I was crying in my dream about how I am not going to graduate and I my body is fucked up and they don't know what is wrong and Lucas was half-ignoring, half-listening... he seemed distracted... and then suddenly he was saving me from something... I dunno a dark magical creature that was trying to kill as all or whatever. I had been crying so much I failed to see that it was about to kill me. There are many of my dreams that theme around Lucas saving me, I think it is partially the fault of the small amount of princess complex I have.
The princess complex: The idea that is put into your head as a little girl that there is this man out there who is perfect for you and one day he will show up on his white horse in shinning armor, sweep you off your feet and you ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. This can be reenforced in adulthood via any romantic comedy or bollywood/B&W film or your fucked up head.
I don't think the princess idea is true, a man doesn't need a horse to ride off into the sunset or save me froma dragon... if a guy give gave a rats ass how I was doing ans showed some concern... that would do it for me. Flowering plants and stuff animals are nice too. And the sandworm question wouldn't come up until after I have been dating someone for at least 6 months.
Sandworm question: Your girlfriend is eaten by a sandworm. Do you...
a) Run away!
b) Avenge your beloved's death by trying to kill the worm although it might mean certain doom for you.
Yeah when all is said and done, IF (and that is a big if) I ever date again... all I ask for is a sweet guy who cares about me. And fortunately or unfortunately no one seems to have the interest in dating me anyhow. Meh. *shrugs* Whatever.
Back to Lucas... we kissed in my dream... again. I really cannot tell him about any of these dreams... what the fuck would he think. It;s just weird and a little bit crazy. Plus ti would probably force me to admit that, yes maybe I have a crush on him.
Ugh. I am going to crash... I played a lesbian Dracula with multiple wives last night and it just took a lot out of me. I should have tried to seduce Mina Harker, since she killed me in the end
Last night I dreamed that is was like half my life (with guest apperances from people I haven't seen in years like Kate, my Matty, and Annie) and Bard's Tale. Well at least it wasn't a cross between my life and Ringu or Eye 2. (I watched Ringu 0 the other day... really really weird... kinda reminded me of Suicide Club).
Anyway in my dream the boy (I still haven't come up with a codename for him...)... er Lucas... from know on he's Lucas, because sometimes he reminds me of Lucas from Empire Records.
So anyway I was crying in my dream about how I am not going to graduate and I my body is fucked up and they don't know what is wrong and Lucas was half-ignoring, half-listening... he seemed distracted... and then suddenly he was saving me from something... I dunno a dark magical creature that was trying to kill as all or whatever. I had been crying so much I failed to see that it was about to kill me. There are many of my dreams that theme around Lucas saving me, I think it is partially the fault of the small amount of princess complex I have.
The princess complex: The idea that is put into your head as a little girl that there is this man out there who is perfect for you and one day he will show up on his white horse in shinning armor, sweep you off your feet and you ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. This can be reenforced in adulthood via any romantic comedy or bollywood/B&W film or your fucked up head.
I don't think the princess idea is true, a man doesn't need a horse to ride off into the sunset or save me froma dragon... if a guy give gave a rats ass how I was doing ans showed some concern... that would do it for me. Flowering plants and stuff animals are nice too. And the sandworm question wouldn't come up until after I have been dating someone for at least 6 months.
Sandworm question: Your girlfriend is eaten by a sandworm. Do you...
a) Run away!
b) Avenge your beloved's death by trying to kill the worm although it might mean certain doom for you.
Yeah when all is said and done, IF (and that is a big if) I ever date again... all I ask for is a sweet guy who cares about me. And fortunately or unfortunately no one seems to have the interest in dating me anyhow. Meh. *shrugs* Whatever.
Back to Lucas... we kissed in my dream... again. I really cannot tell him about any of these dreams... what the fuck would he think. It;s just weird and a little bit crazy. Plus ti would probably force me to admit that, yes maybe I have a crush on him.
Ugh. I am going to crash... I played a lesbian Dracula with multiple wives last night and it just took a lot out of me. I should have tried to seduce Mina Harker, since she killed me in the end
Freitag, Oktober 20, 2006
The Ex-WTF factor
Today was pretty on par with the past 5-- er 6? days. Whatever.... since Saturday. I am slightly better... still unsettled though.
Went to massage therapist and she said I should change some of my diet habits... okay-dokey... I'll try anything at this point. In Chinese medicine terms she says I have "too much wind". She said I am being very brave about the whole thing. I guess. It's not like it's going to go away if I whine or cry about it constantly. I am just trying to keep entertained while I'm fucked up. It's just frustrating as hell.
Nearly finished another scarf... now that i am back in practice I am getting better and faster. It's fucking amazing scarf. I need to take a photo of it before Sam gets it.
Went to the station and as I was driving Jenny B home, she mentioned some guy dropped some stuff off in my box.... "I think his name was Travis..."
"What?!"
I described him and yes, indeed, it was my ex whom I haven't spoken with since April. She told me that he said I was expecting the CDs so he wasn't going to leave a note... Okay yeah news to me, I wasn't expecting any CDs. I went back to the station and there were two CDs in my box: X!nk's Vergif and the Lilja 4-Ever Soundtrack. The former I already had since the band sent me all their CDs, the later was a depressing as fuck movie we watched once, all in Russian with no subtitles.
I am confused as all hell because I haven't talked to this kid in about 6 months because he never apologized for being a total and complete asshole and showing up to my work drunk... during pledge drive... at 7am.
Unless he contacts me further I doubt I am going to acknowledge it. Thoughts?
Went to massage therapist and she said I should change some of my diet habits... okay-dokey... I'll try anything at this point. In Chinese medicine terms she says I have "too much wind". She said I am being very brave about the whole thing. I guess. It's not like it's going to go away if I whine or cry about it constantly. I am just trying to keep entertained while I'm fucked up. It's just frustrating as hell.
Nearly finished another scarf... now that i am back in practice I am getting better and faster. It's fucking amazing scarf. I need to take a photo of it before Sam gets it.
Went to the station and as I was driving Jenny B home, she mentioned some guy dropped some stuff off in my box.... "I think his name was Travis..."
"What?!"
I described him and yes, indeed, it was my ex whom I haven't spoken with since April. She told me that he said I was expecting the CDs so he wasn't going to leave a note... Okay yeah news to me, I wasn't expecting any CDs. I went back to the station and there were two CDs in my box: X!nk's Vergif and the Lilja 4-Ever Soundtrack. The former I already had since the band sent me all their CDs, the later was a depressing as fuck movie we watched once, all in Russian with no subtitles.
I am confused as all hell because I haven't talked to this kid in about 6 months because he never apologized for being a total and complete asshole and showing up to my work drunk... during pledge drive... at 7am.
Unless he contacts me further I doubt I am going to acknowledge it. Thoughts?
Donnerstag, Oktober 19, 2006
You think things are bad....
... and then you get hit by a truck.
It's one of those Murphy's Law things.
Okay well post pledge drive wrap-up. Made 70 watts on Saturday, 15 Watts Sunday, and 28 Watts for Culture Clash. 113 Watts total = $1,130 dollars. Nice, that's 1/50th of the pledge drive.
We made it, btw, at 6:01pm on Day 8, Friday (we are supposed to end at 6). A bunch of the managers went to Republic of Boulder, I had shrimp green curry, a long island ice tea, and a screaming orgasm (althought it was like a sex on the beach shot... not the screaming orgasms that Londyn, Amy, Daniel and I shared).
Okay so back to the title of this blog. Well today will be the 6th day I have spent in bed. I have been avoiding writing only because it takes far too much brain power to concentrate. Both my concentration and some motor skills have been shot. It is also hard for me to read much more than a paragraph. In order to type this I just have to focus all my attention on typing and stare at the keyboard to make sure I am typing correctly. Sucks.
Anyway here's what what has gone wrong. It started Saturday, I felt dizzy, tired, and my head was hurting when I got up. I got some black chai tea on my way to the station and figured the caffinee would help whatever was wrong. I did my show but something was really... off... I was trying to eject CDs while they were playing, cueing up things for no reason, etc. All the while I was extremely dizzy. My dad came up to Boulder and drove me home from the station because I was too freaked out and wonky to drive. When I got home, he worked on my computer and I just passed out in my bed, it felt like I was jet-lagged or something, so strange. After Dad left I spent most of the day in bed. Sunday was no different. I was able to get a sub for my show and spent a good portion of the day in bed. My dad came up again to help retrive my car from the Hill and get groceries.
Anyway I wen to the doctor on Tuesday, the verdict is that I have a middle ear infection, viral, "Labyrinthitis". I wish that ment that I was just stuck in a David Bowie movie surrounded by puppets.... but oh well. Although they say I have this, I actually don't exibit most of the symptoms... but instead have things that they can't explain like shaking, headaches, lack of fuctioning brain.... it's fun!
Oh yeah and they can't do jack shit to help me. And the best part, it can last up to a month. Fuck. Oh and standing hurts the most, then siting and then lying down I barely or don't hurt.
So I may an appointment with ENT... Ear, Nose and Throat. They are going to do a hearing test and consultation. My hope is that they tell me it's something else and they can help me or maybe they'll rule it out which means I am going to probably be getting another brain scan. I honestly just want this to be over and be back to somewhat normal but if they want to take my migraines they can do that while they're at it.
Here's what I have been up the past going on 6 days:
Sleeping
Plotting how the fuck I can maybe graduate now (doesn't look like I will)
Crocheting (I am almost done with a scarf...)
Checking e-mail
Movies Watched:
Revolt of the Zombies
The Brain the Wouldn't Die
Flash Gordon episodes
Dead Man Walk
The Monster Maker
Half of Chalte Chalte (my head was hurting trying to read subtitles for 2 hours)
The Eye 2
Video Games beaten:
Bard's Tale
Dreamfall: The Longest Journey (which honestly this game was kinda cool but like one big cut scene)
I have been going to work, if only for an hour or less. I've been driving there which takes all my energy and I probably shouldn't be doing but I don't think I could handle the bus right now.
Okay I need to lie back down.
It's one of those Murphy's Law things.
Okay well post pledge drive wrap-up. Made 70 watts on Saturday, 15 Watts Sunday, and 28 Watts for Culture Clash. 113 Watts total = $1,130 dollars. Nice, that's 1/50th of the pledge drive.
We made it, btw, at 6:01pm on Day 8, Friday (we are supposed to end at 6). A bunch of the managers went to Republic of Boulder, I had shrimp green curry, a long island ice tea, and a screaming orgasm (althought it was like a sex on the beach shot... not the screaming orgasms that Londyn, Amy, Daniel and I shared).
Okay so back to the title of this blog. Well today will be the 6th day I have spent in bed. I have been avoiding writing only because it takes far too much brain power to concentrate. Both my concentration and some motor skills have been shot. It is also hard for me to read much more than a paragraph. In order to type this I just have to focus all my attention on typing and stare at the keyboard to make sure I am typing correctly. Sucks.
Anyway here's what what has gone wrong. It started Saturday, I felt dizzy, tired, and my head was hurting when I got up. I got some black chai tea on my way to the station and figured the caffinee would help whatever was wrong. I did my show but something was really... off... I was trying to eject CDs while they were playing, cueing up things for no reason, etc. All the while I was extremely dizzy. My dad came up to Boulder and drove me home from the station because I was too freaked out and wonky to drive. When I got home, he worked on my computer and I just passed out in my bed, it felt like I was jet-lagged or something, so strange. After Dad left I spent most of the day in bed. Sunday was no different. I was able to get a sub for my show and spent a good portion of the day in bed. My dad came up again to help retrive my car from the Hill and get groceries.
Anyway I wen to the doctor on Tuesday, the verdict is that I have a middle ear infection, viral, "Labyrinthitis". I wish that ment that I was just stuck in a David Bowie movie surrounded by puppets.... but oh well. Although they say I have this, I actually don't exibit most of the symptoms... but instead have things that they can't explain like shaking, headaches, lack of fuctioning brain.... it's fun!
Oh yeah and they can't do jack shit to help me. And the best part, it can last up to a month. Fuck. Oh and standing hurts the most, then siting and then lying down I barely or don't hurt.
So I may an appointment with ENT... Ear, Nose and Throat. They are going to do a hearing test and consultation. My hope is that they tell me it's something else and they can help me or maybe they'll rule it out which means I am going to probably be getting another brain scan. I honestly just want this to be over and be back to somewhat normal but if they want to take my migraines they can do that while they're at it.
Here's what I have been up the past going on 6 days:
Sleeping
Plotting how the fuck I can maybe graduate now (doesn't look like I will)
Crocheting (I am almost done with a scarf...)
Checking e-mail
Movies Watched:
Revolt of the Zombies
The Brain the Wouldn't Die
Flash Gordon episodes
Dead Man Walk
The Monster Maker
Half of Chalte Chalte (my head was hurting trying to read subtitles for 2 hours)
The Eye 2
Video Games beaten:
Bard's Tale
Dreamfall: The Longest Journey (which honestly this game was kinda cool but like one big cut scene)
I have been going to work, if only for an hour or less. I've been driving there which takes all my energy and I probably shouldn't be doing but I don't think I could handle the bus right now.
Okay I need to lie back down.
Mittwoch, Oktober 04, 2006
Sonntag, Oktober 01, 2006
Need to stop
Dear Steppie,
Please stop playing board games until 2am and then working. We need sleep. Brain thinks it's really fun but Migraine is threatening to blow her up. If this continues, we will stop fuctioning entirely as well.
Homework says that he misses you and wants you to come back; he will forgive you for neglecting him.
Love,
Your body
Please stop playing board games until 2am and then working. We need sleep. Brain thinks it's really fun but Migraine is threatening to blow her up. If this continues, we will stop fuctioning entirely as well.
Homework says that he misses you and wants you to come back; he will forgive you for neglecting him.
Love,
Your body
Abonnieren
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