Lucas, etc.

So basically this situation with Lucas is kinda messed up. I've decided hat I really can't hit on him due to the nature of things blowing up in my face (which happens everytime I take intiative on these things). I am sure if I did I would get immediately rejected followed by total akwardness that would just lead to the dissolvement of our friendship. A couple of my friends tell me I should just go for it, but that only really works on random strangers whom you ask out cause there is nothing really to lose except pride. I am cool stepping back and not doing anything. This doesn't mean however that I am going to stop flirting with him (or that I have stop dreaming about him which still kinda freaks me out). A girl has to do something to keep them guessing. They say if you kiss someone in a dream it means that you respect them, which is true in Lucas' case.

Speaking of guessing, I also wonder how many people think I am a lesbian or bi. I find it kinda funny actually. IF I were... I would already have a girlfriend, seriously, those are so much easier to come by. Although I am betting some people thing that I am dating Londyn (sorry Amy, I ment to tell you...). My life would be easier if I were lesbian, hella more drama but at least I could find a date every once in a while instead of never.

Game night: so last night Chewy, Matt and I played Settlers... 4 games, Matt won them all. We also watched Battlestar Galatica which is a good show, I just feel I need to catch up so much. Also needs more explosions. And more Starbuck being her pilot badass self. It was fun hanging out. As of late it feels like I have very few peoplel I can just chill with.. I think this is still this post "everyone graduating and moving on to the real world" sort of thing. Like Amanda and I would just hang out some afternoon and bake cookies and watch TV. I miss that sort of thing. I've been watching movies at home by myself and it's been vaguely depressing, same with concerts and shows. I still haven't found a person who is just up for my random "let's go do something!!" moments. Most people are too busy... or weirded out by me and/or my choice in what we do. Smeh.

Sarah shadowed my show today, she was really good for a new DJ.

My body is still fucked up but I am dealing with it. I think it is part of the reason I am so down is because I can't really do any major mental or physical activities... I am reduced to a little old lady watching her stories and doing laundry. I can barely read a few pages without my head exploding in pain... it's ridiculous.

Well I am going to try and see how my balance is and maybe go to the gym. Then pass out for a bit or visversa... all depends on my head.