So first of all, my video didn't make it after all. I am sure it was just pushed out by something else.
I am okay with it. Sure, I am dissapointed but whatever. There is always a year to submit something even better. I do get better with every AMV I make. I did get to vote on who won the uber prizes because I did submit something.
Right now...
I am really frustrated and happy and feeling like I am going to cry and depressed and excited all at the same time.
It's very confusing for me.
Matt is a doll. I know I say that about a ton of my guys friends and past love interests but he is. I talked to him briefly tonight and he asked about my music video (I told like....oh...everyone). I told him it was cut. The first thing he said after he was sorry to hear that was "Do you want a hug?" and I was shocked and happy and touched. How sweet! I wish I could have given him a better proper hug (I was holding stuff to clean my face...I had tons of makeup on today).
He smells good.
I love guys that smell good.
Fuck, I wish I knew if he was single and interested in me. I've been trying to pick up guys with girlfriends for a while now. Ugh.
I really should drop the line when he says something nice or wonderful, "Oh your girlfriend must love that..." and see what the response is.
I have such a crush on him....damnit. I am not sure what to do because I am sooooo shy with guys I have crushes on, and I am trying to become friends with him. I never have any idea what to say but I am just trying to be myself and that's the best I can do I guess.
Any ideas?
(edited on Sunday) I was re-reading this....boy I sound creepy stalkerish! I'm not! Really.
It's been so long since I've had a crush a crush on guy, I've fogotten how wonderfully exciting and completely scary it can be at the same time. It's sad when it's unrequited which 99.9% of the time it is, but you get over it. I think that is why I am afraid to put myself out there anymore and be like "Hey! Wanna go out?"
I am trying so hard not to set myself up, or get my hopes too high, and I've given up on asking guys on dates.
(Sorry wow, I just totally lost my train of thought because some listener called in and gave me this long ass rant about how I should totally chill out in the morning and basically not play diverse music or stuff to really get going in the morning. He bitched me out for about 30 seconds, which was interesting but I am not in a great mood right now to be hearing that. Luckily Paul, one of my regular listeners, called in and I talked to him for a bit and he told me that I shouldn't listen to that guy and totally play upbeat fun music. That made me feel better.)
And if this most recent crush is unrequited, well at least I can have another cool friend.
Abonnieren
Kommentare zum Post (Atom)
3 Kommentare:
So, I had a revelation this summer regarding crushes and putting yourself out there.
I realized that every crush is an isolated incident, and that the outcome of your last romantic entanglement has no bearing on the one at hand. You can learn a little bit from past experiences, but the most important thing is to not let them get in your way.
I love you, Steppie! Best of luck! :-D
Oh, and I'm really sorry to hear that your AMV got cut- I still want to see it sometime, amiga!
I talk to you on IM, but I might as well comment also.
That totally sucks about the video and I want to find whoever decides these things and rip them up one side and down the other in multiple languages. Partly for getting your hopes up, and partly because I really liked your video.
I would try to say something useful with the crushing, except that I am not one to give advice on such matters. But I will keep my fingers crossed that something good comes of this.
Also, the guy who called is a good example of what we call "lame". Lame people are like spoons, and should be accordingly regarded as not really existing. Or something.
::: hugs :::
Kommentar veröffentlichen