Shit Weekend

So all my plans fell apart for last night which really really sucked.

Oh before I get into it and forget:
1) Silver (HiHoAg)
2) Krypton
3) The Shadow (knows...)
4) The Lone Ranger (The Green Hornet and Lone Ranger were done by the same people)

Anyway so I get a call from Travis mid-afternoon, he went to a friend's house on Friday night to hang out and party with them and was there all day Saturday. So he called me up, he said he'd be in Boulder around 6 or 7 (party started at 7) and so I said okay, I can wait for you or I can even pick you up on the way, he told me he'd could find a way back to Boulder, it'd be fine.

So around 6 or 6:30, I am getting ready to go take a shower and get ready for the party. Travis calls, "uh, I don't want to go. I am not in the mood to socialize and I am really tired. I might be back later tonight and we can meet up." I understand, at first I am bummed but okay, however if I go, I won't be able to stay too long because I don't want to drive back tired and I obviously can't drink. I also just really wanted to see Travis.

I take my shower, things start to sink in. I figure I can drive down, pick up stuff at my house, stop by the party for a little bit and then come back up to Boulder. I call to let Dad know and he's said, "wow that's a long drive just for that, why don't you wait till tomorrow to pick up stuff." Okay.

So now, look pretty hot and nowhere to go. My options are, go to the party anyway and get stuck in Lakewood till the morning but I was feeling rather jilted and unsocialable at this point.

I felt like driving, so I got in my car and drove up to NCAR and turned around and then drove up to Flagstaff Mtn. sat at the overlook for a while listening to music in my car and looking at the stars through my sunroof. I looked at the city lights for a while, thinking. I called Amanda and Jason (paleo) while at the top of Flagstaff just for kicks, left messages for both. I got out and took a few photos of the city. It was really windy and bitter cold otherwise I would have stayed up there longer.
But it was also getting to me how romantic the overlook is at night and how the other cars that were up there were probably couples.

I drove back to Hallett, parking was a pain. I also kept forgetting things in my car because my mind was sorta gone, so I had to keep walking back and forth in the driving ice cold wind. By the time I got to my room, I was about to cry.

Note: Okay yes, I was ditched. Yes, I was being overemotional. But hell I was really disappointed that I didn't get to see him. And yes, I have become one of those typical girls that a month ago I swore I'd never be.

So as I was walking I was listening to a voicemail that Jason left me. "Hey we're going to drink in the dorms." I also thought for a long time about just going to the gym but I thought not in the end.

As I walk up to my room, I see Jason and Adam in the hallway. I was not in a good mood, I was also feeling very manic (which is a very odd feeling if you know what I am talking about). Jason asked "What happened?" "I got ditched." "By who?" "Guess." "Travis?" I didn't say anything and walked past him and into my room. He poked his head in, "What do you want to do?" "I want to paint."

About that time, I get a phone call from my Dad and he chews me out for about 10 min about money. This was my limit, I burst into tears. I am sobbing on the phone, my door is open and Adam, Jason and Matt (lives next door) are having some unrelated conversation in the hallway. My Dad apologizes, "I didn't mean to chew you out..." "It's okay Dad, it's just been a rough night."

So we made a run to Target, and we got watercolor paper (I had paint and a canvas in my room), a half gallon of Dryer's Rocky Road by request from me, and some chasers, actually the ultimate in chasers, Jones Soda Green Apple. I say we but the guys paid for it. I am at least $100 in the hole and it's a long story. I want a second job like 2 days a week, I am going to look for one even if Dad doesn't want me to get one.

The boys made a booze run (Jen and I ate on the Rocky Road while Richard painted his toes and Rachel hung out and we all talked) when we got back and got Potato Vodka which is actually slightly better than McCormick's. We drank, watched Ghost World. I had about 3-4 shots in an hour, there was quite a bit of delay in it hitting me.

Here's what's funny, about half or more of our floor was drinking that night, it was divided into smaller groups but it was rather humorous. And yes, Vernon our RA was there and hanging out with some of the group while they were sipping on mixed drinks watching a movie. He had no idea what was going on.

Travis called me around 10 or 11, he was a little tipsy. I was tipsy. He told me he was staying the night in Aurora at his friend's house, they were drinking. He said he was sorry he ditched me, I told him I was having a shitty night and that I was eating ice cream and drinking and that I was about to paint. I said bye before he really even got a chance to, I was happy he called but I wanted to make it clear that I was not that happy with him. He hurt me by ditching me.

What I realized as I am writing this is that Travis told me he had a ton of reading and homework to do this weekend. I doubt it's going to get done.

I did do a painting, I will post a picture of it. It's a abstract painting with a butterfly. I would post pictures now but I don't know where my camera cable is. I think I might have to get one....with the money I don't have.

I put the painting on my wall. It looks pretty spiffy.

After the movie we all kinda went our respective ways. It was around 2am or so when I went to bed. I was feeling anti-social again and just really tired but emotionally restless. I slept like a rock.

Now I have tons of homework to do.

Current Mood: The feeling right after you've cried alot.
Current Music: Sounds of the Sunday morning along Broadway.