Must be losing it..whjatever "it" was...or if I had "it" to begin with...

Wow...crazy crazy f'd up dreams. Not only crazy dreams but now I am all emotionally...weird. I don't know what to think now. blah..I sound crazy...meh whatever.

So In my dream a huge group of my friends and I were all going to this big nightime festival for Halloween. I think it was crazy and messed up in the fact that some of my friendships in the dream played out very oddly, like the person acted sort of like they would normally but something was distictly different, not bad just very different. Well maybe sort of bad. I think it was just playing out some of my fears on the way people treat and view me. For example, one person in particular in my dream treated me as inferior and my friends as equals. I think my dreams were just feeding off the fact that in real life I feel like this person sees me as a nuissence, that our friendship has no real meaning and that I am just some girl who should be ignored and treated as a dumb kid. I mean it's not THAT bad, I make it sound horrible...I mean that's just what I fear and get vibes from....but as we all know...sometimes what I read from people is completely off. What really bugs me the most, and this came up in my dream, is the fact that this person doesn't open up, maybe it's because they've been hurt before from opening up or whatever, but in my dream my friends (who were supposed to meeting them for the first time) knew the person better then I did. Hence why in real life, I rely off what I can get and pick up on.

Anyway back to reality.

Let's see I have to work a hell lot today. blah. I did make some new mix CDs to listen to and I have some stuff I have to listen to for the radio station. I need to start gathering music for my big DJing event I am doing in August. It's going to be a lot of fun and this is the first time I am going to DJ in front of a crowd. Let's hope I don't freeze or something. It seems no matter how much I practice, I will get extreme stage fright. Like when I did a bellydance preformance for the Talent Show in my old dorm, I was shaking so bad, I started freaking out before I went eventhough I had practiced so hard and was really looking forward to doing it in front of a crowd. My stage fright also made trying out for plays/musicals a challenge, Annie and MAtt say I have a good stage presence if I could just get over the fright.

Geez, I'm blabbing...still a little asleep. I;m going to make some breakfast and get ready for my day.