Since Blogger merged my two accounts with this Beta google blogger stuff I have decided to make a new blog. For those frequent readers. I will let you know where it is... or just ask me. I am doing this for two reasons, one is disassociate my 1190 blogs from my personal life blog. The other is to kick start my writing with a bit more personal and less vague entries.
It's the start of the new year and maybe that should be my resolution... to post more.
Congrats Miss Steppie Lee... you get to spend New Years Eve... by yourself!!
It shouldn't have bothered me as much but I am by nature a social creature. It's kinda like the world is having one big party and you not invited.
Plus, I dunno, the snow put me in a funk and I have been sometimes awkward socializing with certain people... I just wanted to have some fun but whatever...
Yes, it was for the most part by choice... I had an invite to a couple parties in Lakewood and one in Denver but I have to DJ from 7am-10pm today so partying in Denver/L-wood wasn't going to happen. But no one wanted to stay in Boulder and hang out so smeh.
I watched the pilot of Dead Like Me (and all the deleted scenes), drank half a bottle of $5 champagne and ate Chinese food.
I think the lady at the Chinese resturant by my house is starting to recognize me... same with the guys at Blockbuster.
"Hey dude, he comes that gothy looking chick that rents all the horror films and TV shows about death..."
Look George on Dead Like Me makes me feel better about myself because she is like me but more bitter... she's a virgin, has trouble dealing with guys, doesn't know what the hell she is going to do in life, swears alots and she's undead.... okay well maybe we don't have that last part in common. Zombie movies also make me happy. It depends but if I am hormonal and depressed, then I watch chick flicks and super sappy bollywood.... if I am just depressed then it's shows about death or movies about zombies.
I am sure at some point I am going to end up on a suicide watch list or people are going to ask if I am "oookaaaaay?" in that way that makes them wonder if you have gone off your rocker... Listen death is cool and whatnot but I don't want it to come any sooner than anyone else... I like life too much... I am pretty sure that is why I find most things about death pretty funny.
In other news I am starting to lose patience with this boy situation.... whatever... if I don't get a response then fuck it... moving on cause I don't have the time nor energy to just wait around in case something might happen.
He's been pretty sweet but for the most part I can't read what is going on in his head and drives me nuts and I end up saying stupid things.
Well I am going to go try and find some coffee before I have to be at the station... a combination of regretting things I said to the boy and just thinking about the whole boy situation as well as the excitment of 10 hours of DJ woke me up every couple of hours since about 11pm last night till 5:30am... when I finally got up because I can't sleep.
I keep dreaming about vampires... probably because I read a bit of Bram Stoker's Dracula each night before bed.
Okay Dracula had a moustache... why is the detail missed in EVERY picture, movie, etc. about Drac? I still can't quite get over it, I need to see a Drac with a moustache to get the full visual.
"Within, stood a tall old man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad all in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him."
To me this makes Dracula seem hmm... friendlier... like a little old grandpa vampire.. then again I am not that far into the book.
Well since I am not migrainey anymore I am out living not posting on a blog... well at least sort of living.
I got a new camera for Christmas, therefore the next post will be picture happy goodness. I will also be taking a ton of photos.
The holidays were okay... some good and bad. Ima Gene, my great-aunt, died on Christmas day. I only met her once at the family reunion but I found her to be such a nice and funny lady that I basically hung out with her the whole time. I have a really great photo of her that I need to find, make a copy of and give to my grandmother. Ima Gene was 85 and died because her kidneys leaked toxins in her blood. My grandmother was really upset about Ima Gene, cause Ima Gene was only 10 years older than my grandmother and used to watch my mom, aunt and uncle when my grandmother needed to run errands or work.
My family drew names this year for presents. I drew Dave which is my aunt's husband and generally a complete asshole. Never talks to the family, etc. I crocheted him a dark grey scarf and gave him a bottle of Chilean wine. He loved it, I mean he genuinely like it. I was surprised.
My mother and sister are both trying to hook me up with guys... *sigh* my reply to them was that I'm sorry but I am kinda wanting to date this other guy and not interested. Which of course now the family wants to meet him.
Speaking of the guy, I spent the last snow storm at his house actually. He invited me and another friend over and we hung out and then I crashed on his couch. The next day (I was feeling sick because I discovered I am way more lactose intolerant than I thought) I went to get out to my car, dug it out, treid to drive it, got stuck. So I spent 20-30 min trying to dig my own car out. Couldn't get it. "Well maybe if he gives me a push I can get out" I thought. I knocked on his door and he came out and spent a full hour digging my car out. He is such a sweetheart. And even after all that, he invited me back to his place that evening. We and a couple of friends hung out some more.
I think I may pounce on him when he gets back from time with his family in a couple of days.
My dad's side of the family Christmas was good, the least stressful I have had in years. I got the camera and a card game called Killer Bunnies. Dad also found this game called Feds 'N' Heads which we copied and I can bring that to game night. Food was good and my grandmother started asking about "the guy I wanted to invite over for Thanksgiving" and which Howard was like "I can read people, so you should bring him over sometime" so Howard can size him up. So... both sides of the family want to meet the guy that I haven't even kissed, I don't know what is going on...
Anyway with any guy there must be a 6 month rule before either person meets family or is dragged to family functions. If anything ever happens with this guy, which I am not even sure since I have never gotten a definate answer either way from him but he isn't a avoiding me or stopped talking to me so I think it's a good sign.
Well I should head out, I need to get food before the next big storm moves in.
Hey, how about post in your blog you've been neglecting!
So the latest. I'm sick. Hence why I am up at 3am on a Weds. morning... I am inbetween cold med doses.... last night went something like this "whoa... I need to get to bed... this stuff is kicking in... *crawls into bed* ack... *can't stop coughing* shit this stuff doesn't----*falls asleep*" ahh drugs...
Still haven't gotten the issue with CU withdrawing me from my class resolved. I filled out paperwork to get it added and now I am just waiting... and waiting... I am going to call tomorrow and see what the fuck is up. I may need to retake it, which just sucks. That will mean I will have 19 credit hours, about half of those credits are online classes.
Managers are leaving 1190 in flocks... Matt (the engineer), Katherine (news), Charlie (underwriting), Brook (student GM), and Joel (programming) are all leaving. Sad sad sad. I nearly cried at the last manager meeting when I thought about them all being gone.
So it seems everyone I haven't heard from in a long time is getting in touch with me... next my gay Matt will be dropping me a line I am sure. Anyway my old geology buddy Kirk, who has been stationed at Pearl Harbor the last 3 years, sent me an e-mail and might be visisting Colorado soon. Eva from Germany sent a mass e-mail to all her Colorado buddies. And finally I got a Christmas card from Andrea (yup Annie!) who is living with her boyfriend (I know... a boyfriend...) in Denver and gave me her cell so we can hang out sometime.
Okay I shoud head back to bed....
OKAY... I know I haven't posted in forever. But here's a quick update:
- Haven't had dizziness/vertigo unless I am super tired. Haven't had a migraine (save the one previously mentioned from game night weeks back) in 2 months. I am so fucking happy.
- Little drama that just popped up that I need to resolve... for some reason CU withdrew me from my Music Business II course... uh, I don't know why. *sigh* I will be making some phone calls in the morning.
- Well pending that... which I discovered writing this post... I should be able to graduate next semester. But it seems that CU is trying to shaft me at every turn with this one...
- I have revealed my crush to the guy and after a while of him be so busy it is crazy (which I know, my whole timing was THE worst for him), I got a bit of a response back which was an "I'm sorry I've been busy, we'll talk when I am not" and that is completely fine with me, I pretty much figured that but for my sake I had to get it out there right then. But I'm cool... I know what is like to be that busy you might go insane...
- Which leads to my last thing, with the exception of a few instances. I have been super calm and relaxed. I think it has been a combination of just life and the company I keep. I am rock right now, so lean if you need to.
Primary goal: Graduate with Geology degree ASAP
Secondary goal: Certificate in Music Business
The classes needed to complete primary goal:
Critical Thinking - 3
Paleontology - 4
The classes needed to complete secondary goal:
Music Publishing - 3
Music Law - 3
Intro to Songwriting - 3
Issues:
- As a Boulder student I cannot take more than 6 credit hours at Denver
- All the classes for secondary goal are Denver classes
- Paleontology is only offered in the Fall in Boulder, Spring in Denver
- Music Publishing is only offered in the Spring and already closed this Spring (there is no waitlist)
- Music Law is only offered in the Fall
- As of now they have me listed as a transfer student to from Boulder to Denver which is incorrect (and could create huge problems)
- They do not offer a Geology degree at Denver
What I had ment to do:
- Do time-out program in Boulder
- Become a CU-Denver student
- Take all remaining classes in the Spring with exception to Music Law
Two problems:
- May not actually be able to graduate while doing time-out
- Music Publishing is full up
Okay new plan:
- Stay a Boulder student
- Take Paleo, Songwriting and Crit thinking
- Get degree
One problem:
- Paleo and Songwriting are 7 credit hours total which is over the limit
What I will mostly likely have to do:
- Take Paleo and Crit Thinking only
- Wait till summer to take Songwriting
- Take Music Law in Fall
- Take Music Publishing in Spring
...
fuck.
I didn't have any idea tha I could experience such an array of emotions packed in to one night. I think part of it is heightened by the lack of sleep. Basically I had to give the "what...? um... well you aren't really my type" speech to a man that I supposed was taken to begin with (which took me by complete surprise). I had extreme frustration with my life and with others. I didn't figure that in the same room would be one person who gets on my nerves so easily and another that makes me feel such comfort and ease. The later of the two makes me laugh so much and I continue to get to know so much about him and want to learn more... I wish we could just chill and talk more. I sometimes I wish I could just tackle him with a big hug.
Again. I am sure the lack of sleep is what is really got me tweaked out right now. I feel like my life is both stressful, out of control, and in perfect harmony all at the same time. I feel the need to write but also that I shouldn't. I guess, all in all, I am just really confused but happy.
