Life of me

New blog and goodbye.

2007-01-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

Since Blogger merged my two accounts with this Beta google blogger stuff I have decided to make a new blog. For those frequent readers. I will let you know where it is... or just ask me. I am doing this for two reasons, one is disassociate my 1190 blogs from my personal life blog. The other is to kick start my writing with a bit more personal and less vague entries.

It's the start of the new year and maybe that should be my resolution... to post more.

Fucking new years eve....

2007-01-01T05:56:00.000-07:00

Congrats Miss Steppie Lee... you get to spend New Years Eve... by yourself!!

It shouldn't have bothered me as much but I am by nature a social creature. It's kinda like the world is having one big party and you not invited.

Plus, I dunno, the snow put me in a funk and I have been sometimes awkward socializing with certain people... I just wanted to have some fun but whatever...

Yes, it was for the most part by choice... I had an invite to a couple parties in Lakewood and one in Denver but I have to DJ from 7am-10pm today so partying in Denver/L-wood wasn't going to happen. But no one wanted to stay in Boulder and hang out so smeh.

I watched the pilot of Dead Like Me (and all the deleted scenes), drank half a bottle of $5 champagne and ate Chinese food.

I think the lady at the Chinese resturant by my house is starting to recognize me... same with the guys at Blockbuster.

"Hey dude, he comes that gothy looking chick that rents all the horror films and TV shows about death..."

Look George on Dead Like Me makes me feel better about myself because she is like me but more bitter... she's a virgin, has trouble dealing with guys, doesn't know what the hell she is going to do in life, swears alots and she's undead.... okay well maybe we don't have that last part in common. Zombie movies also make me happy. It depends but if I am hormonal and depressed, then I watch chick flicks and super sappy bollywood.... if I am just depressed then it's shows about death or movies about zombies.

I am sure at some point I am going to end up on a suicide watch list or people are going to ask if I am "oookaaaaay?" in that way that makes them wonder if you have gone off your rocker... Listen death is cool and whatnot but I don't want it to come any sooner than anyone else... I like life too much... I am pretty sure that is why I find most things about death pretty funny.

In other news I am starting to lose patience with this boy situation.... whatever... if I don't get a response then fuck it... moving on cause I don't have the time nor energy to just wait around in case something might happen.
He's been pretty sweet but for the most part I can't read what is going on in his head and drives me nuts and I end up saying stupid things.

Well I am going to go try and find some coffee before I have to be at the station... a combination of regretting things I said to the boy and just thinking about the whole boy situation as well as the excitment of 10 hours of DJ woke me up every couple of hours since about 11pm last night till 5:30am... when I finally got up because I can't sleep.

2006-12-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

I keep dreaming about vampires... probably because I read a bit of Bram Stoker's Dracula each night before bed.

Okay Dracula had a moustache... why is the detail missed in EVERY picture, movie, etc. about Drac? I still can't quite get over it, I need to see a Drac with a moustache to get the full visual.

"Within, stood a tall old man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad all in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him."

To me this makes Dracula seem hmm... friendlier... like a little old grandpa vampire.. then again I am not that far into the book.

Short update... again.

2006-12-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

Well since I am not migrainey anymore I am out living not posting on a blog... well at least sort of living.

I got a new camera for Christmas, therefore the next post will be picture happy goodness. I will also be taking a ton of photos.

The holidays were okay... some good and bad. Ima Gene, my great-aunt, died on Christmas day. I only met her once at the family reunion but I found her to be such a nice and funny lady that I basically hung out with her the whole time. I have a really great photo of her that I need to find, make a copy of and give to my grandmother. Ima Gene was 85 and died because her kidneys leaked toxins in her blood. My grandmother was really upset about Ima Gene, cause Ima Gene was only 10 years older than my grandmother and used to watch my mom, aunt and uncle when my grandmother needed to run errands or work.

My family drew names this year for presents. I drew Dave which is my aunt's husband and generally a complete asshole. Never talks to the family, etc. I crocheted him a dark grey scarf and gave him a bottle of Chilean wine. He loved it, I mean he genuinely like it. I was surprised.

My mother and sister are both trying to hook me up with guys... *sigh* my reply to them was that I'm sorry but I am kinda wanting to date this other guy and not interested. Which of course now the family wants to meet him.

Speaking of the guy, I spent the last snow storm at his house actually. He invited me and another friend over and we hung out and then I crashed on his couch. The next day (I was feeling sick because I discovered I am way more lactose intolerant than I thought) I went to get out to my car, dug it out, treid to drive it, got stuck. So I spent 20-30 min trying to dig my own car out. Couldn't get it. "Well maybe if he gives me a push I can get out" I thought. I knocked on his door and he came out and spent a full hour digging my car out. He is such a sweetheart. And even after all that, he invited me back to his place that evening. We and a couple of friends hung out some more.

I think I may pounce on him when he gets back from time with his family in a couple of days.

My dad's side of the family Christmas was good, the least stressful I have had in years. I got the camera and a card game called Killer Bunnies. Dad also found this game called Feds 'N' Heads which we copied and I can bring that to game night. Food was good and my grandmother started asking about "the guy I wanted to invite over for Thanksgiving" and which Howard was like "I can read people, so you should bring him over sometime" so Howard can size him up. So... both sides of the family want to meet the guy that I haven't even kissed, I don't know what is going on...

Anyway with any guy there must be a 6 month rule before either person meets family or is dragged to family functions. If anything ever happens with this guy, which I am not even sure since I have never gotten a definate answer either way from him but he isn't a avoiding me or stopped talking to me so I think it's a good sign.

Well I should head out, I need to get food before the next big storm moves in.

3am... what else are you going to do?

2006-12-20T03:00:00.000-07:00

Hey, how about post in your blog you've been neglecting!

So the latest. I'm sick. Hence why I am up at 3am on a Weds. morning... I am inbetween cold med doses.... last night went something like this "whoa... I need to get to bed... this stuff is kicking in... *crawls into bed* ack... *can't stop coughing* shit this stuff doesn't----*falls asleep*" ahh drugs...

Still haven't gotten the issue with CU withdrawing me from my class resolved. I filled out paperwork to get it added and now I am just waiting... and waiting... I am going to call tomorrow and see what the fuck is up. I may need to retake it, which just sucks. That will mean I will have 19 credit hours, about half of those credits are online classes.

Managers are leaving 1190 in flocks... Matt (the engineer), Katherine (news), Charlie (underwriting), Brook (student GM), and Joel (programming) are all leaving. Sad sad sad. I nearly cried at the last manager meeting when I thought about them all being gone.

So it seems everyone I haven't heard from in a long time is getting in touch with me... next my gay Matt will be dropping me a line I am sure. Anyway my old geology buddy Kirk, who has been stationed at Pearl Harbor the last 3 years, sent me an e-mail and might be visisting Colorado soon. Eva from Germany sent a mass e-mail to all her Colorado buddies. And finally I got a Christmas card from Andrea (yup Annie!) who is living with her boyfriend (I know... a boyfriend...) in Denver and gave me her cell so we can hang out sometime.

Okay I shoud head back to bed....

Quick update while the caffinee still holds...

2006-12-11T02:53:00.000-07:00

OKAY... I know I haven't posted in forever. But here's a quick update:

- Haven't had dizziness/vertigo unless I am super tired. Haven't had a migraine (save the one previously mentioned from game night weeks back) in 2 months. I am so fucking happy.

- Little drama that just popped up that I need to resolve... for some reason CU withdrew me from my Music Business II course... uh, I don't know why. *sigh* I will be making some phone calls in the morning.

- Well pending that... which I discovered writing this post... I should be able to graduate next semester. But it seems that CU is trying to shaft me at every turn with this one...

- I have revealed my crush to the guy and after a while of him be so busy it is crazy (which I know, my whole timing was THE worst for him), I got a bit of a response back which was an "I'm sorry I've been busy, we'll talk when I am not" and that is completely fine with me, I pretty much figured that but for my sake I had to get it out there right then. But I'm cool... I know what is like to be that busy you might go insane...

- Which leads to my last thing, with the exception of a few instances. I have been super calm and relaxed. I think it has been a combination of just life and the company I keep. I am rock right now, so lean if you need to.

The CU Paper trail:

2006-11-26T08:50:00.000-07:00

Primary goal: Graduate with Geology degree ASAP
Secondary goal: Certificate in Music Business

The classes needed to complete primary goal:
Critical Thinking - 3
Paleontology - 4

The classes needed to complete secondary goal:
Music Publishing - 3
Music Law - 3
Intro to Songwriting - 3

Issues:
- As a Boulder student I cannot take more than 6 credit hours at Denver
- All the classes for secondary goal are Denver classes
- Paleontology is only offered in the Fall in Boulder, Spring in Denver
- Music Publishing is only offered in the Spring and already closed this Spring (there is no waitlist)
- Music Law is only offered in the Fall
- As of now they have me listed as a transfer student to from Boulder to Denver which is incorrect (and could create huge problems)
- They do not offer a Geology degree at Denver

What I had ment to do:
- Do time-out program in Boulder
- Become a CU-Denver student
- Take all remaining classes in the Spring with exception to Music Law

Two problems:
- May not actually be able to graduate while doing time-out
- Music Publishing is full up

Okay new plan:
- Stay a Boulder student
- Take Paleo, Songwriting and Crit thinking
- Get degree

One problem:
- Paleo and Songwriting are 7 credit hours total which is over the limit

What I will mostly likely have to do:
- Take Paleo and Crit Thinking only
- Wait till summer to take Songwriting
- Take Music Law in Fall
- Take Music Publishing in Spring

...

fuck.

I feel the need to write but...

2006-11-26T06:42:00.000-07:00

I didn't have any idea tha I could experience such an array of emotions packed in to one night. I think part of it is heightened by the lack of sleep. Basically I had to give the "what...? um... well you aren't really my type" speech to a man that I supposed was taken to begin with (which took me by complete surprise). I had extreme frustration with my life and with others. I didn't figure that in the same room would be one person who gets on my nerves so easily and another that makes me feel such comfort and ease. The later of the two makes me laugh so much and I continue to get to know so much about him and want to learn more... I wish we could just chill and talk more. I sometimes I wish I could just tackle him with a big hug.

Again. I am sure the lack of sleep is what is really got me tweaked out right now. I feel like my life is both stressful, out of control, and in perfect harmony all at the same time. I feel the need to write but also that I shouldn't. I guess, all in all, I am just really confused but happy.

Egg Nog Chai = Spiffy

2006-11-19T07:22:00.000-07:00

I got chai from Brewing Market this morning because I only got 3 hours of sleep. It's really good. I also got a really good like cranberry raisen cinammon bagel. Spiffy is such a neato word, daddio. Sorry, like I said, three hours of sleep.

Anyway last night and we had it at my place. This gave me the excuse to go massive cleaning on the place. Arwen is going to come home (she was in LA doing her taping for Wheel of Fortune this week) and wonder a) why the kitchen looks really pretty nice and b) why my room is as clean, if not cleaner, than it was for 4th of July and c) why settlers of catan is on the dinning room table. I need to have people over more often so that it will remain this clean but I will try my best to keep it that way anyway. The only things I havent done are scrubbed my bathtub, vaccumed the rest of the house and mopped the kitchen. Anyway the second bookshelf and moving my bed have really helped in organizing my room better. I will try and coax my camera to work and take some photos. I will also upload photos of the boys having a pissing contest-- I mean battling their forces after the game was over because well... they wanted to see who was better. Oh and by "they" I mean Matt and Chewy.

Let me go back to Thursday night. Matt and hung out for a while, we went to the game store on Arapahoe which was having it's "new game Thursday". I had been to this game store once before but it was pretty empty and Chewy and I were just having a look around while we waited for the other gamers to call one aternoon. So Matt and I introduced ourselves to the owner. I let Matt do most of the talking since I fairly noob at the whole board game lingo. The guy showed us around, we turn the corner and there were a bunch of RPGers (role playing gamers) playing a game, all male, and upon entering the room all the guys turn and give the "Oh my god, its a girl!!" look. It was a little awkward for me but I enjoyed it. I've been to enough geeky things... conventions of all sorts, meetings, classes, etc where being female is an odd thing and they are shocked. My fav is video games gatherings in which they go "what do you know?... you are just a girl... girls don't play video games..." and then I proceed to kick their asses. Anyway I stuck close to Matt as we wandered and talked with people. We left to go get dinner and were laughing in the car about "attacking the darkness" since we are not RPGers. We almost stopped into another game/comic book store but it was closed. Matt said he wouldn't have the nerve to go in the store unless I was there, I have the shock "girl" disabler for gamers. We went to Thunderbird and I struck up a coversation with one of the workers who lived in South Africa (honestly I have been craving a good Aussie burger lately, pineapple & beet... mmm). Matt and I talked about RPGers and games, etc. etc. It was fun.

So anyway we played games at my place on Saturday, I started to get a migraine about halfway through a round of Dracula which really sucked because Matt had do the thinking for the both us. Matt was super sweet after the game though when I had to get gas and whatnot.

My crazy brain

2006-11-12T10:57:00.000-07:00

Okay so I am trying not to have a crush on Lucas only because I don't want shit to fly and get weird... yeah much harder than I thought. *sigh* Last night I had a dream we were playing this pirate game and it was a mix of gaming people and radio station and my other friends. It was a really fun pirate game in that the hex tiles were about the size of city blocks and when we built stuff it actually well was real. Again, Lucas and I were romantically involved but unlike some of my dreams, none of the friends (his, mine or mutual) freaked out. Anyway I am not sure where the pirate thing came from but you know when you have playing too many bard games when...
At least it's better than video game dreams.

Friday night Matt, Chewy and I did our Battlestar and board games. Matt won more Settlers and we played a few rounds of Dracula (which no matter who wins... I really like that game, it's really fun). I can't wait to get the Settlers expansions... either to 5-6 or Cities & Knights, both will be super fun.

I felt better yesterday.... like almost 100% better. Not sure why. Chai tea and Taco Bell the secret to feeling good?? (that was my breakfast)... that just seems wrong for Taco Bell to fix something. Let's see yesterday I didn't sleep and then did my show, had "breakfast" and watched an amazing sunrise... it made me want to paint which I may do some at one point or another. Then I went home and slept after my show. Picked up Chewy and we went to gaming store (that place is fun!) and picked up food and headed over to Matt's place.

We watched V for Vendetta while Brad did Calc homework. I really like that movie. We played some Settlers (Matt took a break to cook... okay well also we would have won if we played him) and Chewy won. Brad and I played Memoir against Matt, we were the Germans and won. That game is really neat. We had dinner and watched Hackers. We then played a 4 person modified TI game... and for once in like ever... I was actually a threat. I am so proud of myself for actually building so much a being a threat. :) I nearly got wiped out with one roll of the die... would have been a very different game had it gone my way with that. Anyway Matt won and although I was kinda shafted at times (I mean who isn't in board games), I really like the mod 4 person. We called it a night at 4am.... Matt was really awesome for hosting two nights in a row till 4am.

Today... I think it is going to be good. I am super optimistic and very happy. I only need one good day with my spinal vertigo to bring my optimism back (it gets killed at about day 3 of being stuck in bed). My dad gets back from China today and it'll be good to hear how that was. Okay off to attempt to do about, well 5 million things. :-D

2006-11-09T22:21:00.000-07:00

Been in bed since Monday. Figured out who my real friends are in this world, the ones who actually talk to you and worry about you when you are sick. No more crush either, it's all good, he doesn't care about me as to inquire how I am so I am not going to care about him. :-p

I guess I should mention I am drugged up right now too... I took the muscle relaxer my doctor prescribed.... I only took half and I am really drugged up, guess I should get into bed before the room gets too blurry and spinny.

2006-11-06T12:57:00.000-07:00

I am not sure what is going on and it is kinda starting to scare the shit of of me but I am doing worse than I have been in the last 3 weeks. All I have been able to do today is sleep and I can barely eat, walk, etc. If I make it to my car okay, I'll drive to campus. If not, I am calling a cab. I would take the bus but stomach is too quesy.

Damnit

2006-11-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

My body is getting worse again. I am not sure why but I am going to try to keep fighting so that I don't go back the point of the bed-ridden veg. That would just make me more frustrated.

I was trying to not have a crush on Lucas which seemed to be working. I was trying to tell myself why it wouldn't work, that he is not attracted to me, etc. etc. cause I just see myself getting burned. Then what does my brain do? Oh just have an entire dream devoted to Lucas and why he is such a great guy including saving me again (in my dream I fell because of my balance and stopped breathing and he gave me mouth to mouth). The entire dream we were laughing and smiling and making out... and argh stupid head. No, I shouldn't have a crush on him! Not because he is unattractive, I find him incredibly attractive but he is completely unobtainable because I am pretty certain he has no interest in me. Whatever it's just a small crush, I'll deal with it.

Game night... Matt won the first round of Settlers. TI was sucky for me, mostly cause I've been this total space cadet since I started getting this spinal vertigo thing. Matt took my home system. This is like the 4 or 5th game in a row that my home system has been taken. But whatever, I didn't figure it would go well for me anyway. I got knocked out of the game and played Halo for a bit just to blow stuff up and pass the time. I am not there was a winner in TI, it was really intense at the end. Settlers, Matt won again. I did win Frog Juice which despite it being a simple game I was fairly happy to win for the first time in a long time... I am pretty sure the more you have to think in these games, the less likely I am to win because my head is just really messed up right now. Between the vertigo and medication... I am screwed. But that's okay, I like hanging out and playing board games even if I seem like a total idiot but if I win one game of whatever occasionally, I'm happy.

I bought two video games on Friday and neither will play on my Xbox. I need to take them back (Sims and Myst 4). Which if they give me money back that'd be great cause I shouldn't have spent it, I was in one of my very down moods on Friday which just leads to self pitty and buying video games so I can zone out for a few more hours and not have to deal with things. I am going to stop trying to do that.

Not sure how today is going to be... I am not doing well right now... so we'll see. I wish I had a trike bike so I didn't have to worry about balance and could build up my strength and go for a ride. I think I'll build p my strength for the gym, lift weights again. Can't do cardio unfort because I would fall off the machine.

I really could use someone to talk to and hugs lately. I think that is why Lucas is always so appealing in my dreams, he is sweet and wants to listen and be there and I am just a sucker for caring smart guys.

Lucas, etc.

2006-11-04T07:24:00.000-07:00

So basically this situation with Lucas is kinda messed up. I've decided hat I really can't hit on him due to the nature of things blowing up in my face (which happens everytime I take intiative on these things). I am sure if I did I would get immediately rejected followed by total akwardness that would just lead to the dissolvement of our friendship. A couple of my friends tell me I should just go for it, but that only really works on random strangers whom you ask out cause there is nothing really to lose except pride. I am cool stepping back and not doing anything. This doesn't mean however that I am going to stop flirting with him (or that I have stop dreaming about him which still kinda freaks me out). A girl has to do something to keep them guessing. They say if you kiss someone in a dream it means that you respect them, which is true in Lucas' case.

Speaking of guessing, I also wonder how many people think I am a lesbian or bi. I find it kinda funny actually. IF I were... I would already have a girlfriend, seriously, those are so much easier to come by. Although I am betting some people thing that I am dating Londyn (sorry Amy, I ment to tell you...). My life would be easier if I were lesbian, hella more drama but at least I could find a date every once in a while instead of never.

Game night: so last night Chewy, Matt and I played Settlers... 4 games, Matt won them all. We also watched Battlestar Galatica which is a good show, I just feel I need to catch up so much. Also needs more explosions. And more Starbuck being her pilot badass self. It was fun hanging out. As of late it feels like I have very few peoplel I can just chill with.. I think this is still this post "everyone graduating and moving on to the real world" sort of thing. Like Amanda and I would just hang out some afternoon and bake cookies and watch TV. I miss that sort of thing. I've been watching movies at home by myself and it's been vaguely depressing, same with concerts and shows. I still haven't found a person who is just up for my random "let's go do something!!" moments. Most people are too busy... or weirded out by me and/or my choice in what we do. Smeh.

Sarah shadowed my show today, she was really good for a new DJ.

My body is still fucked up but I am dealing with it. I think it is part of the reason I am so down is because I can't really do any major mental or physical activities... I am reduced to a little old lady watching her stories and doing laundry. I can barely read a few pages without my head exploding in pain... it's ridiculous.

Well I am going to try and see how my balance is and maybe go to the gym. Then pass out for a bit or visversa... all depends on my head.

Halloween!

2006-11-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

Halloween this year was pretty fun, didn't go to any parties.. I actually only knew of a few that was like "friend of a friend's friend" situations... which I just find terribly awkward and weird. Anyway dressed up as Go-Go Yubari from Kill Bill and went into work for Tuesday. I even *gasp* wore my contacts. I think I pulled it off pretty well. My hair isn't quite long enough (and my boobs are too big)... but whatever. People recognized it and thought it was pretty good. I think I look horrible in this photo but it's the only one I've got.

Mike (our GM) dressed up in an old man mask and a Dead shirt and was KGNU. I wish I had a photo, it was hilarious.

Anyway I went with Rachel who lived on my floor last year in Hallett and Matt to Loki's Halloween show. Rachel went as a fairy in a costume she made herself and Matt was a naval officer which he pulled off really well. We all looked super hot. It was a total blast and we all had fun but it went much later than I expected.

I felt like a badass carrying that mace around all day. Dressing up like a killer school girl is too much fun, especially since that skirt is my aussie school uniform skirt.

I think right now I am going to dig around for my weight lifting gloves and try to hit up the gym before I have to go in for work. Lots of volunteers to train tonight.

I might be a tutor

2006-10-30T19:30:00.000-07:00

I ran into my old HD tonight while going to pick up Rachel from Hallett to go shopping. Andrea asid she had just sent me an e-mail about doing Geology tutoring for housing. It's $9.50 an hour and they only need me for 4 hours a week.

More details to come... but I might be teaching freshmen about rocks.

Also I forgot to post this but the ex decided to drop an apology letter in my box at the station.... I am not sure what I am going to do, I am not even sure if I want to deal with it right now.

The weekend is over update

2006-10-30T09:25:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream (that actually didn't involve Lucas this time) that Conor (our promo director) went missing for like a week, we were a little concerned but we kinda figured he like skipped out or something. Well one day Ed (promo assistant) pulls me aside and says that he's the one who made Conor disappear. He wanted to take over promotions and their show Under the Mattress for a while. So we go down the hall and there are these largish lockers, Ed opens one up and there is Conor all drugged up in one of the lockers. Ed uses some ether to wake him up then we pull the slightly dazed Conor out of the locker and helped him back to the station. Conor didn't remember anything and I was the only one that knew what Ed did.

Weird dream.

This weekend was really pretty good... Friday was when Matt and I went to the movie which was way fun. Saturday I got my Halloween costume together... this is the first time I have done my costume so last minute but I am going to be Go-Go from Kill Bill. My hair really isn't as long as hers but other than that and the patch on her jacket (which I am going to do a print out of and tape on), I have got the costume pretty much set. I went to bed at 7 pm because my body just gave up on staying awake. Sunday I played some of Destroy All Humans! 2, which like the original is pretty fun. Matt, Chewy, Brad, Ben and I did game night at Ben's house. We played Fury, Flux (which I enjoy), Nuclear War, Settlers, and Mille Bourne. We took a break and went to BJs and I spent far too much money on food, I am going to have to eat cheaply the next few days until the rent check.

Today

2006-10-27T22:52:00.000-06:00

Today was amazing. Totally.

I only got 5 hours of sleep since I trained DJs till 4am and didn't really get into bed until about 5am (it was really fun hanging out with the volunteers and eating pizza at 3am). I had a doctor's appointment this morning (ENT, Ear, Nose, Throat). Got a hearing test done... it was excellent.... still have awesome hearing. Most people on the scale from 0 (excellent) to 50 (bad) are a 25... I am a 5 on most frequencies in both ears. So I don't have a viral infection, I don't have a brain tumor... I have cervical vertigo. It means my neck is too tight and fucking me up. Oh! Nearly forgot to take my meds for it before I went to bed... they gave me muscle relaxers (read: stupid pills) that are supposed to help, and I get to go to physical therapy for it. Should be gone in two weeks.... yay!!

Worked at the station which is always fun. Last day as traffic director... Jenny starts on Monday. I am glad to be doing a new and different job.... traffic is important but I like training a bit more... much more interactive and fun. Jenny and I have decided to share the desk and the computer (it's name is "stupid son of a bitch why won't you work")(meh. it's old, whatev, nothing I can do about it). But that'll be nice because I like having a desk area and a vaguely functioning computer to work on. And Matt set me up my own training login.

Speaking of Matt... so I went home and showered and changed and then Matt and I went and saw Scanner Darkly at IFS. Pretty good movie.... weird ending but it's Dick so his endings are weird. It was pretty true to the book from what I've read of it. Yeah.. so went and got Chinese and Boba afterwards and Matt told me also sorts of great stories about living in Singapore and summers in Australia as a teenage marine biologist pirate. It was a blast. I haven't laughed that much in over a month... I love hanging out with him.

Well should get to bed. The pill I took is starting to kick in... don't think I've ever taking something that a side effect is blurred vision... this is a new one. I am only one this for a week or two. At least I am off any meds, I hate being on medications, maybe my migraines will go away...I'll have a grand party when that happens... maybe when I get better in a week or two I can actually start hitting the gym again. I've been dying to go but my balance has been too messed up.

It'd be great to get one of these

2006-10-27T16:56:00.001-06:00

Officially!!

2006-10-26T18:10:00.000-06:00

Finally it has been announced that I am officially the training director at Radio 1190. (after about 3 weeks of semi-secrecy) I am so excited, and a little nervous. I have a pack of volunteers coming in tonight to get trained... and no Loki, totally solo, he super sick apparently. As long as he sends me the training packet as promised, I should be fine... otherwise it'll be a bit impromptu... well more so then it already is.

So Monday is when Jenny starts my old job of Traffic Director and I need to wrap somethings up this weekend before she takes over. I think she is a little nervous about the job but she'll do fine.

Well I need to plan Culture Clash... maybe a Scandinavian night tonight.

Surprises

2006-10-26T03:02:00.000-06:00

I got done training Ben (brand new DJ) at the station and it was snowing like a blizzard. I felt really bad cause I am sure Matt walked home in it, if he would have stayed I would have gladly given him a ride... I didn't know it was going to snow.

Matt and Eric cleaned the board... so nice... without an inch thick of grim it almost feels like we aren't in some dank basement doing radio. The mold always reminds me otherwise.

Matt cracks me up. Everytime I hang out with him it just makes me want to hang out with him more... he was playing fab jazz while he and Eric cleaned the board. Ben and I were waiting until they were done so Ben could do his training. Then Matt puts in Covenant, I so didn't see him as a Covenant sort of person. It made me smile. It also made me desperately want to go to the Church and go clubbing.

Speaking of, I have decided to change my Halloween costume because on short notice I am not ready to do Uma from Pulp Fiction... instead I think I am going to go as an emo/goth chick... like hardcore with bandages on my wrists and everything.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

2006-10-23T23:26:00.000-06:00

Well okay I thought I was okay... won't be able to graduate this December but rather in the summer... have my Geology major, my music business certificate... do time out program at Boulder for Spring, enroll at UCD and do my last three music biz classes at Denver as well as Paleontology which I need to graduate, one last crit thinking course over the summer... wheeh done....

Well it turns out the last class I would need for Music Business Certificate isn't offered in the Spring. Fuck me. I would have to wait till Fall 2007 to finish. Great, a 7th fucking year senior.

And I am still not getting better. Fuck.
Oh and I got an apology from my ex. It was a letter in my box this morning. I really don't have the energy to deal with it right now.

I am just really frustrated right now. I am going to try to go to the gym tomorrow and lift weights, I need to get some aggression/frustration out. Hopefully I feel well enough to go. I need it.

This whatever it is.. "sickness" has been slowly wearing my optimism down.

Real food.

2006-10-23T09:46:00.000-06:00

I made eggs in the microwave this morning since I am supposed to be eating protein at each meal (according to my massage therapist). Since I couldn't reach the olive oil, I used Pam for Baking, and yes... my eggs have a slight "cookie" taste. Kinda weird. Still good though, at least I was able to cook something for myself.

Dream boy is back

2006-10-22T14:54:00.000-06:00

I dreamed about him again, the friend who I see 2-3 times a week and apparently my sub-conscious is infatuated with him. It's weird too, lately... well I haven't been dreaming at all.. or at least not remembering them which is very strange for me.

Last night I dreamed that is was like half my life (with guest apperances from people I haven't seen in years like Kate, my Matty, and Annie) and Bard's Tale. Well at least it wasn't a cross between my life and Ringu or Eye 2. (I watched Ringu 0 the other day... really really weird... kinda reminded me of Suicide Club).

Anyway in my dream the boy (I still haven't come up with a codename for him...)... er Lucas... from know on he's Lucas, because sometimes he reminds me of Lucas from Empire Records.
So anyway I was crying in my dream about how I am not going to graduate and I my body is fucked up and they don't know what is wrong and Lucas was half-ignoring, half-listening... he seemed distracted... and then suddenly he was saving me from something... I dunno a dark magical creature that was trying to kill as all or whatever. I had been crying so much I failed to see that it was about to kill me. There are many of my dreams that theme around Lucas saving me, I think it is partially the fault of the small amount of princess complex I have.

The princess complex: The idea that is put into your head as a little girl that there is this man out there who is perfect for you and one day he will show up on his white horse in shinning armor, sweep you off your feet and you ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. This can be reenforced in adulthood via any romantic comedy or bollywood/B&W film or your fucked up head.

I don't think the princess idea is true, a man doesn't need a horse to ride off into the sunset or save me froma dragon... if a guy give gave a rats ass how I was doing ans showed some concern... that would do it for me. Flowering plants and stuff animals are nice too. And the sandworm question wouldn't come up until after I have been dating someone for at least 6 months.

Sandworm question: Your girlfriend is eaten by a sandworm. Do you...
a) Run away!
b) Avenge your beloved's death by trying to kill the worm although it might mean certain doom for you.

Yeah when all is said and done, IF (and that is a big if) I ever date again... all I ask for is a sweet guy who cares about me. And fortunately or unfortunately no one seems to have the interest in dating me anyhow. Meh. *shrugs* Whatever.

Back to Lucas... we kissed in my dream... again. I really cannot tell him about any of these dreams... what the fuck would he think. It;s just weird and a little bit crazy. Plus ti would probably force me to admit that, yes maybe I have a crush on him.

Ugh. I am going to crash... I played a lesbian Dracula with multiple wives last night and it just took a lot out of me. I should have tried to seduce Mina Harker, since she killed me in the end

The Ex-WTF factor

2006-10-20T22:27:00.000-06:00

Today was pretty on par with the past 5-- er 6? days. Whatever.... since Saturday. I am slightly better... still unsettled though.

Went to massage therapist and she said I should change some of my diet habits... okay-dokey... I'll try anything at this point. In Chinese medicine terms she says I have "too much wind". She said I am being very brave about the whole thing. I guess. It's not like it's going to go away if I whine or cry about it constantly. I am just trying to keep entertained while I'm fucked up. It's just frustrating as hell.

Nearly finished another scarf... now that i am back in practice I am getting better and faster. It's fucking amazing scarf. I need to take a photo of it before Sam gets it.

Went to the station and as I was driving Jenny B home, she mentioned some guy dropped some stuff off in my box.... "I think his name was Travis..."
"What?!"
I described him and yes, indeed, it was my ex whom I haven't spoken with since April. She told me that he said I was expecting the CDs so he wasn't going to leave a note... Okay yeah news to me, I wasn't expecting any CDs. I went back to the station and there were two CDs in my box: X!nk's Vergif and the Lilja 4-Ever Soundtrack. The former I already had since the band sent me all their CDs, the later was a depressing as fuck movie we watched once, all in Russian with no subtitles.

I am confused as all hell because I haven't talked to this kid in about 6 months because he never apologized for being a total and complete asshole and showing up to my work drunk... during pledge drive... at 7am.

Unless he contacts me further I doubt I am going to acknowledge it. Thoughts?

You think things are bad....

2006-10-19T11:33:00.000-06:00

... and then you get hit by a truck.

It's one of those Murphy's Law things.

Okay well post pledge drive wrap-up. Made 70 watts on Saturday, 15 Watts Sunday, and 28 Watts for Culture Clash. 113 Watts total = $1,130 dollars. Nice, that's 1/50th of the pledge drive.

We made it, btw, at 6:01pm on Day 8, Friday (we are supposed to end at 6). A bunch of the managers went to Republic of Boulder, I had shrimp green curry, a long island ice tea, and a screaming orgasm (althought it was like a sex on the beach shot... not the screaming orgasms that Londyn, Amy, Daniel and I shared).

Okay so back to the title of this blog. Well today will be the 6th day I have spent in bed. I have been avoiding writing only because it takes far too much brain power to concentrate. Both my concentration and some motor skills have been shot. It is also hard for me to read much more than a paragraph. In order to type this I just have to focus all my attention on typing and stare at the keyboard to make sure I am typing correctly. Sucks.

Anyway here's what what has gone wrong. It started Saturday, I felt dizzy, tired, and my head was hurting when I got up. I got some black chai tea on my way to the station and figured the caffinee would help whatever was wrong. I did my show but something was really... off... I was trying to eject CDs while they were playing, cueing up things for no reason, etc. All the while I was extremely dizzy. My dad came up to Boulder and drove me home from the station because I was too freaked out and wonky to drive. When I got home, he worked on my computer and I just passed out in my bed, it felt like I was jet-lagged or something, so strange. After Dad left I spent most of the day in bed. Sunday was no different. I was able to get a sub for my show and spent a good portion of the day in bed. My dad came up again to help retrive my car from the Hill and get groceries.

Anyway I wen to the doctor on Tuesday, the verdict is that I have a middle ear infection, viral, "Labyrinthitis". I wish that ment that I was just stuck in a David Bowie movie surrounded by puppets.... but oh well. Although they say I have this, I actually don't exibit most of the symptoms... but instead have things that they can't explain like shaking, headaches, lack of fuctioning brain.... it's fun!
Oh yeah and they can't do jack shit to help me. And the best part, it can last up to a month. Fuck. Oh and standing hurts the most, then siting and then lying down I barely or don't hurt.

So I may an appointment with ENT... Ear, Nose and Throat. They are going to do a hearing test and consultation. My hope is that they tell me it's something else and they can help me or maybe they'll rule it out which means I am going to probably be getting another brain scan. I honestly just want this to be over and be back to somewhat normal but if they want to take my migraines they can do that while they're at it.

Here's what I have been up the past going on 6 days:
Sleeping
Plotting how the fuck I can maybe graduate now (doesn't look like I will)
Crocheting (I am almost done with a scarf...)
Checking e-mail

Movies Watched:
Revolt of the Zombies
The Brain the Wouldn't Die
Flash Gordon episodes
Dead Man Walk
The Monster Maker
Half of Chalte Chalte (my head was hurting trying to read subtitles for 2 hours)
The Eye 2

Video Games beaten:
Bard's Tale
Dreamfall: The Longest Journey (which honestly this game was kinda cool but like one big cut scene)

I have been going to work, if only for an hour or less. I've been driving there which takes all my energy and I probably shouldn't be doing but I don't think I could handle the bus right now.

Okay I need to lie back down.

2006-10-04T13:51:00.000-06:00

I hate me right now.

Need to stop

2006-10-01T08:03:00.000-06:00

Dear Steppie,

Please stop playing board games until 2am and then working. We need sleep. Brain thinks it's really fun but Migraine is threatening to blow her up. If this continues, we will stop fuctioning entirely as well.

Homework says that he misses you and wants you to come back; he will forgive you for neglecting him.

Love,
Your body

I had a dream and you were in it...

2006-09-29T08:48:00.000-06:00

I had a dream where I was dating an amazingly good looking rich guy with a ripped body... and no brains whatsoever.... an absolute dumbass... nothing and I mean nothing go on upstairs. I was completely miserable.

I had like 3 dreams in one night with "guy in real life but I keep dreaming about and is sometimes akward when I see him" (which is 2-3+/per week). In one dream he betrayed me and lied to me.... I woke up all pissed but luckily when I saw him that day I had pretty much forgotten about it. It also helps that in the other two dreams he was his usual sweet self.

Okay time to get ready for class!

Happy Happy, Joy Joy

2006-09-27T08:46:00.000-06:00

I got my desktop back! yay! Laptop is still undergoing motherboard replacement surgery.

Despite my sub loosing my station keys, this week has been pretty good.

Got to get a ride in my dad's new car. I am so proud that he is driving something less than 30 years old. It's a 2005 Toyota Camry S. It's black. It's way nice.

Okay time to get ready and catch the bus. :)

P.S. I love Londyn, she gave me way amazing lipstick. Going to try it and my new eyeliner out today.

P.P.S. Yes, that's right, I've started wearing makeup... Kevyn Aucoin is such a genius, how can I not?!

Bad week, happy end.

2006-09-23T10:24:00.000-06:00

So mein desktop ist kaput. It bit the bullet so to speak. I am currently computerless which sucks... a lot. Especially since my classes are partially web based.

ITS basically told me to get any info I can off my hardrives (a total capacity of 300 gigs) and then blow them away. Since I have had problems with my HDs in the past... it may be a hardware issue with these buggers.

My laptop needs a new motherboard. My dad is working on both my machines and trying to get at least one running.

Migraines all week. Now I am sick. I am trying to pump myself full of vitamins and fluids to kick it out of my system.

Vinyl Destination (the all vinyl day on 1190) was really amazing. I had a ton of fun with my show (Culture Clash) and Matt & Eric were was awesome and got a third turntable in the air room for the day. I hung out to see how they were going to install it and to get caught up on work, I drove Matt home afterwards (he called me "an angel"). I'd like to do an all vinyl day again in the future.

Last night I went over to Matt's house and played board games. I was in such a terrible mood from the crappy week and I was so glad to go over and just play board games. Matt, Ben and I played a few rounds of Frog Juice, Mag Blast, and a game of El Grande (I was sneaky and won El Grande). Ben had to leave and I went and picked up Chewy; we played a few games of Nuclear War (which is my new favorite... it's a card game and so much fun), we ordered food, played Hungry Hungry Hippos, and then TI. TI did not go well for me but I really didn't care. Matt had this massive army (had everything except the big war suns on the board which are like death stars) and Chewy won the game which was cool since he had never won before. We didn't finish until 3:15 in the morning (we had failed to realize how late it was). I took Chewy home and drove myself home.

This morning my alarm didn't go off... so I woke up at 6:52..... yeah.... I raced to the station. My head is all stuffy and whatnot... not fun. The medication I took last night before I went to bed and finally cleared my sinuses up about the time the band Paper Airplanes showed up for their live interview. It was off the cuff and really informal, they seemed to have fun though. I hope it sounded okay because I had to do the entire thing sans headphones (there were 6 guys, 4 mics and 3 sets of headphones). It was a little strange to DJ without them but I think it turned out okay.

I am taking off tomorrow, Max is going to sub for me so I can sleep in. yay.

Off to go home and sleep.

Oh and I saw two movies this week. One was Lola Rennt (Run Lola Run) which yes I have seen about a million times and is one of my top ten favorites. I have a new favorite as well that I saw this week called American Astronaut. It's kinda like Boy and His Dog-esc, black and white, and musical. Yes, I know, totally weird but hilarious. I found the soundtrack at the station today and I giggled.

Bad day.

2006-09-18T21:52:00.000-06:00

I was having a good day. Londyn loaned me some makeup books which are amazing and I was trying out the Marlene look which I think makes me look cute. I don't have the right makeup to try half the looks I want to but I can deal. I also have discovered flower clips... they make me feel pretty. I looked like an indie kid meets movie star... or as Londyn calls it, "indie star".

I missed the bus this morning and didn't have my reading done but it didn't phase me too much. Class in downtown was good and the business men (who usually don't even see I exsist) were looking at me and holding doors open. Music biz was fun, I am learned a bit about the international music industry and on Weds. we have a guest speaker talking about radio.

I went to work... I was tired but whatever. I go to pull out my laptop to work on some stuff... it won't turn on. I check the plug and try it again... nothing. I try to run it on just battery and whines like it is preparing to start up and then just dies. I check on Dell to see what it might be.... well my warrenty has expired so there really isn't anything they can do short of charging me $99 for a phone call. I have flashbacks to the iPod crisis. Okay... I call my dad, he's stumped. Where is Matt when you need him... I figure my next option (other then trying to sell my body to a computer geek at the enginneering building to tell me what's wrong...) was to take it to geek squad. They look it over... it's a$100 to send it off to be diagnosed and they guess about $300 to fix it... I only got the computer for $500 so no. Well it's probably the motherboard he tells me... fuck.. but for $150 they will back up all my files to a DVD in 2-3 days... hell no.

I decided to treat myself to Mimi's Cafe instead. I had soup and bread and a muffin that I saved for breakfast tomorrow. It felt weird eating alone at a resturant, I have never done it before. Here's the pros and cons...
Cons:
- People stare at you in pity because you are eating alone
- It is a little depressing especially with romantic crooner music on the speakers

Pros:
- Service was REALLY good
- Food came quickly
- You can evesdrop without seeming nosey
- You can talk and text on you cell without coming off as rude
- You don't have to share the bread

Two things I wish I could have done... 1) Had a glass of wine but I have a hard rule of not drinking at all and driving... 2) had Larry with me because that would have come off as quirky and may have made me feel slightly less weird about being stared at... cause they are obviously wondering "what is up with gnome?" and less "why is she sitting alone...?"

I went to the store on my way home and picked up some groceries and a unicorn.
Yes. A unicorn, with a yellow mane, hooves, and horn.

When I am down I tend to buy plants or stuffed animals. So Mr. Rainbow Sprinkles Royale was on sale... or Ray for short. Rainbow Sprinkles Royale is a Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy reference. I figure since Bunny needs to stay in retirement since he turned 21 this year, that Ray can be my new sleep buddy. It's better than sharing a bed with a guy because he doesn't mind if I want to hold onto him all night or if I hog the covers. Plus I am not sure you can buy guys at the grocery store.

I remember it was snowing...

2006-09-17T07:46:00.000-06:00

Oh and sorry guys, this post is typo heaven... I only got about 4 hours a sleep for the past couple nights.

I had a dream last night but I don't remember almost any of it. This has been happening alot lately. I just remember fragments and people. When I was walking to the station this morning and I remembered in my dream last night that it was snowing, the guy was there (see previous posts for the backstory) and I was happy. I often associate snow with happiness because no matter how much of a shitty day I am having, if it starts snowing, I will perk up a bit. I love falling snow.

So Friday night was the 1190 party... the big station bash. Londyn and I went hat shopping for my outfit in the afternoon but didn't fnd anything. We still had fun (since had she ditched dance for me ). She also taught me how to do S-curls which I am going to practice this week. The party was not as huge as last time but it was still fun. I got to talk to Nancy (our GM's wife) which is great. She is such a fun lady and I absolutely love chatting with her. What was really cute was when she snuck into the little closet in the kitchen with Sam and I so she could do a covert jello shot so her daughter didn't know. I got to talk with our new assistant engineer Eric, who seems like a really cool kid. He kicked my ass at pool. Plus I got to catch up with Sierra, Lyda (who I don't get to see too often), Hayley, Nitro (and he brought his daughter Chantel who is adorable), Lillian, Eric (who does the Jazz Hole), Tony, Nat (who is so silly when drunk), etc.

So I DJed for a half-hour. Matt said my set was the best which I am glad he liked it. I am always super nervous DJing events even though I love it (still trying to save up for my own equipment). It is always hard to know what the crowd is going to respond to, it is worse at 1190 parties because the other DJs and managers constantly give me shit for listening and liking some of the stuff I do (read: William Shatner, Truckstop, t.A.t.U., etc). People were dancing for the most part which was good (most of them left at one point to socialize). But I played some 2 raumwohnung (because she has got the greatest german sex purr voice other than the lovely Marlene), Tigarah (Tokyo hip-hop DJ who sent me her CD) , Ye-ye, a j-zone song I could never air, oh and this fabulous t.A.t.U bhangra remix that Ashish gave me and I can't get enough of... that and Tiga's "(Far From) Home" are my theme songs right now (part of the t.A.t.U. song lyrics are "I only want what I can't have/I only need what I don't want"... and it's an awesome bellydance song, I may try to choregraph something to it).

After I DJed I played pool for a bit, we had fun and I taught Eric 9-ball which he promptly won... :) Anyway we were listening to Edith Piaf when we were play pool... I LOVE her... and after that CD was done I put in Frank Sinatra because I love his voice too. As you may or may not know I have this soft spot for crooners and classic 30's & 40's female singers.... my fav three are are Frank, Edith, and miss Marlene Dietrich whom I've always admired. While we listening to old blue eyes, an older gentleman came up to me and asked me to dance. He was such a chamer and I found out later that his name is David. I told him that I have this horrible tendency to lead (I was often a date for my female friends to high school dances and my gay boy taught me how to lead so I could teach my friends how to dance.. the only time I don't lead is a three-step waltz because I was always danced with a guy when I was chorus in Meet Me in St. Louis) but he didn't mind. We had fun. It just makes me want to take ballroom except I can't find any guy to be my dance partner for a class (I don't really want a random stranger...).

Oh my outfit... yeah I neglected to explain "the outfit". If you saw the pictures from Colorado Dark Arts.. yeah that outfit except less gothy. So it's a white button down shirt with a black corset piece sewn in, then of course... black brack with the shirt unbuttoned (which happens even if I DO button it... it comes undone too easily). My short black skirt, black and white argyle knee highs, my mary-janes, dog collar (and I got a red heart tag at the pet store before the party that says "Steppie Lee" because everytime I would wear it I thought it was lacking something), and then I curled my hair a bit and makeup. I thought I looked rather sassy if not a bit hmmm... not slutty... hot I suppose... although some might argue. Lyda thought my outfit was awesome (she's goth fashion queen, she always has cool outfits), lots of people complimented it. One guy did hit on me a bit (he will remain nameless but if you were there you could probably figure it out), I kept myself moving around a bit to avoid him but I was able to loose him fairly easily so there was only maybe one or two akward moments, well actually any moment with him is akward.

Oh my friends Jason, Adam and Ryan showed up... they became really good friends with Max and had a really fun time. They were mostly drunk and mostly on the dance floor ocassionally begging or dragging me out there.

I took the new engineer Eric to campus to pick up his bike and we talked mostly about station stuff and 1190 people. I got home and wrote some more lyrics, if anyone want to read some of them... I need some thoughts before I put them to music.

David did ask me to tango toward the end of the evening but I had to leave so I had to decline. That would have been fun but I was pretty exausted and had to get up for my show. I am not sure how poor Matt didn't pass out, he'd been up since 5am and stayed the whole night.

Oh so speaking of Matt... yesterday Chewy, Brad, Matt and I all played Twilight Imperium again this time at Matt's house. I had a ton of fun. We played a space card game before in which I was pretty sure I was going to die until I hate like 12 someodd ships toward the end... I really didn't see how I surrvived, truely pure luck. But I ended up winning the game, Matt was sweet and helped me out alot after I destroyed his comand ship and took him out of the game. I wouldn't have surrvived without his help. We then played TI which I am still fucking up on rules and stuff but getting better. Brad had never played before so we helped him out. Toward the end of the game Chewy and Brad were both in the lead and allied. Matt was sure one of them was going to win and was trying to get me to do something, which I unfortnately couldn't and had I made a few fatal errors that was preventing me from winning, I had been pretty screwed from the onset of the game. At this point everyone wanted the game to be over... except me. I was determined there was a way... I got a couple of sweet cards and in the next round found my shot. I came up from behind for the win. I was so proud. Everyone was shocked, including myself that I pulled it off. So I guess this does mean I am getting better. I need to stop being such a pessimist and think I am going to lose... maybe that is why I always sucked at strategy games. After Ben got off work we picked up food and went to his house and played El Grande which is confusing since none of us had played it but kinda cool. I mostly watched to see how it was played and grasp the concepts and I of course had the least points at the end. Matt and Brad tied for the win which was pretty funny.

Hot Pirate Looking for Wench

2006-09-14T17:39:00.000-06:00

I was commented to Ed at work about how I could use a man who is good at massages, does dishes, and cleans. He said I should post it on Craigslist and that there are some funny personal ads....

Here's one:

"Hot Pirate Looking for Wench"

I am looking for a place to bury me treasure. I want a wench who knows how to walk the plank, and shiver me timbers...yaaargh. I've had it with shwash-bucklers, and skallowags. Me thinks I needst a good-hearted wench to go to Davey Jones's locker with.

p.s. I know the key to One Eyed Willie...that was a Goonies joke.

this is in or around The Seven Seas

This one also made me laugh...

"SMOKING HOT!"

HI!!
email me..
i hate posting
g

The guy looks like he's been steamrolled or something, he looks like he was squished. Also the black bar is a nice touch.

One more because it makes me laugh...

"I'll take one combo to go please..."

In the vast sea of craigslist posting how does one separate themselves from the masses?

Perhaps some dry sarcastic comments about our current state of government or other popular current social issue. But, sarcasm loses its luster without tone of voice or body language for support. Plus, that's been done to death.

There's always the Grocery List approach, or the Calling All fill-in-the-blank route.

What I haven't seen is some one making random noises (I know that's hard to pull off on the interweb). I mean, that's how animals in the wild do it, why should we be any different?

I'm going to give it a shot. I might attract an Elk or Bear, but hey, I'm a live on the edge kind of guy.

Woooo Woooo
Yabba Yooooda Oytva

Is it working?

And this poor guy just listed himself out Pros and Cons so you don't need to

Comment with your own favorite (or maybe a funny fake) craigslist ad.

2006-09-12T22:19:00.000-06:00

I am not sure what brought it on but I am pretty damn well depressed. I am currently in the vicious cycle of being lazy because I am depressed and then feeling guilty for it and then eating far too much and again the guilt (which is odd because I usually don't eat anything when I am depressed), etc. I also have an exam looming over my head for tomorrow and I feel awful for not studying for it but even worse that I still don't do anything... same with the presentation on Friday...

I don't really feel like there is anything that could make me happy right now... I am just in a down mood.

Snuggling in the rain...

2006-09-11T19:22:00.000-06:00

I bought a new blanket at Target...

yes. I already own about a million blankets but I live in a "garden level" apartment, therefore it's going to be really cold this winter. Even with the bit of rain, it's a chilly 60 degrees in my bedroom.

This blanket is so soft, so warm, it was on sale (yay) and the last one (double yay).

So I am cuddled up in my blanket and down comforter snuggling all my stuffed animals. I think I might make some hot cocoa.

My head was killing me all day long due to the weather, I got one of those shaking, light & noise senstivity, hot & cold body temp migraines on the bus going to Denver for class. No fun.

But Mikey (my boss) did give me a ride home in his new Jaguar after work at the station.

Can't stop

2006-09-10T09:43:00.000-06:00

Writing spurts come at 2am when I am suddendly wide awake or driving my car or the middle of a concert. Everytime there is not a pen or paper nearby. Luckily I have been brining my laptop to the station for the "writing inspiration while DJing" moments that are frequent.

I can't stop writing recently. I am far too discriptive and abstract to write stories, also I get bored trying to write them but lyrics, I've been working on frequently. Right now I have about 4-5 songs that are in my head that I am working on. When I write lyrics... I don't just put in down as poetry, but I can hear the beat, the way it should be sung, etc. I think at some point very soon I am just going to explode in this fenzy of creating music and writing, it's just building up.

My dreams are still vivid but less memorable. I end up waking up in the morning and little things remind me of my dream. Like putting on my chucks this morning reminded me of someone commenting about my shoes in my dream. The only things I tend to remember is people. I can remember the guy I keep dreaming about was in my dream and what we did but less of the context of why.

I've given up trying to understand why he is my dreams every night. So meh.

Other life stuff. Yesterday Rachel, Dad, and I went to Estes Park Highland Games. We had fun wandered around, it was anywhere from hot to bitter cold, and changed every 20 minutes or so. Luckily I didn't have migraine problem. We had lunch and Guiness (or for me Black and Tan). Rachel found out she had Welsh heritage and bought the scarf with her tartan. She just got back from Peru and brought me back CDs and candy and mini-pan pipes. She leaves for Lester, England to go to grad school on Sept. 29th. I saw Amy's grandparents (although Ames, your grandma didn't really remember me... lol). Petted doggies (I want a wolfhound now...), saw tiny dancers running around, and looked at the new Utilikilt designs (they now have a "the spartan" which is like a workout kilt for the gym or leisure). There weren't as many people because I think the weather scared them off.

I met the lead singer Kirk from the band Seven Nations and talked with him. We saw them in concert last night and they were awesome. The opening band (Brother) was lacking and I've heard them before when I was in Australia... they are like jam band meets bagpipes and didge. They'd be okay if they were instrumental, the lyrics are pretty weak. Anyway Kirk has my e-mail, they would have done some sort of in-studio or interview this weekend but they are supper busy with shows so he's going to keep and touch so that we can plan something in the future hopefully.

I really would like to rearrange my room soon, I am not sure I can really move stuff around though... I kinda would like to turn my bed so that it is lengthwise along the wall so I can also use it as more of a couch and open up the middle of my bedroom... going to measure today and see if I can work something out. (this only makes sense if you've seen my apartment and if you have, please give me ideas). I am going to check on how much homework I have and then clean for a while.

Oh so I've been playing Twilight Imperium with Ben, Matt (engineer at the station) and a few of their friends. I am totally addicted to this game despite the fact that I suck. I am getting mariginally better each time I play... and Matt tends to help me out alot, and the other guys will give me advice and answer my questions for the billionth time because I still haven't grasped and the complex details within the game. It's a really fun game but a couple of times I have gotten really exausted or migrainey (cause of the fucked up weather) and kinda given up or not paid attention at all. The last game I played, I really sucked at, oh well.

Fight or fuck response

2006-09-03T07:48:00.000-06:00

First off, I cannot stop having dreams with this one guy friend of mine (mentioned in previous posts). Everynight he's in my dreams. And in the real world, I see him 2-3 times a week. I don't want to tell him because well, I'd get freaked out if I knew someone kept dreaming about me. Not sure what to do, just going with it. If you ever had a dream where someone pissed you off and the next day you see them and you know they didn't do anything wrong but you are still mad, those are the kind of conflicts I am experiencing, trying to seperate emotions from the dreams and real life with this guy.

Classes are good but I may have to drop sociology which SUCKS, cause I love the professor (yep, I have Glenda the sex professor) and my TA is hilarious as well. It's just intro sociology but it is pretty fun thus far. However I am on the waitlist and *checks online* yep, I am still on the waitlist, position number 1. Fuck. If I am not enrolled by Wednesday I am dropped from the class and oh yeah, I need it to graduate. So my options are, take it online or work out something with Glenda (cause she is not teaching the online section and I really love the way she teaches). I am going to send her an e-mail when I get home, I think if I take the online class I will see if it is okay for me to come to her lectures.

Japanese lit is taught by a woman from the UK. I can't tell but I think she's Scottish. Plus everyone in class is hilarious. The other day we were going over Japanese histroy post World War II and she was asking what dates we should include... this kid in the class named Adam goes "1946, when that douchebag dropped those bombs and stuff." and the girl next to him pretending to take notes goes "uh... how do you spell douchebag?"

Music Business 2 is interesting although a little bit over my head, actually I think everyone in the class is a wee bit lost.

Paleobiology... hmmm well we have no textbook. We technically we do but it isn't going to be published till 2007. No matter, he is still going to tech from it because he has a copy. Yeah... Luckily Jason has offered tutoring at the cost of a beer or coffee, he is also going to let me borrow some readings that corispond to the topics we are going over.

I have also decided that I don't want a boyfriend, I want a guy to worship me. Applications are due to my assistant at the end of the week. Honestly, this freshman puppy love on campus is making me ill. The whole dating thing is like this double egded sword, I am both fascinated and repulsed at the same time. I'm with Londyn, fuck it all.

Smeh, that is all I feel like writing for now.

I love rain....well no not really. I lied.

2006-08-27T06:30:00.000-06:00

I do love the sound of rain especially when I am reading or sleeping and I do love how cool it makes everything, I slept best when the weather is chilly. But I hate rain too.

Everytime a storm blows in, I get a migraine and/or a severe headache. Other factors are what usually turn the severe headaches into migraines. Nevertheless, it sucks. I can tell you it'll rain before the storms are over the mountains, I really need to time this gift, might come in handy if I get the headaches like X number of minutes before the storm each time. I figured out this low pressure headache when I went skiing with my dad and we passed through 4 storm systems along the way and I got four mind blowing migraines, I also got one going up the ski lift, and therefore it took me nearly and hour and half to do one run and then we went home. That was the last time I went skiing, almost 2 years ago.

I've started carrying honey sticks in my purse, by chance, which tend to help fend off the migraine because low blood sugar is one factor that will send me over the migraine cliff. I went to the boulder farmer's market on my way to get my bike fixed. I got lunch, a wonderful Japanese Chicken Golden Curry over rice. All day I was complimented on my purse, it was my corsage box purse from the 50's. On my way back to my car, I thought honey sticks sounded good so I bought a few. Oh and my bike, the cable was WAY too tight so it would have been impossible to put the brake on without help. I also bought a lock and elbow pads.

Later in the day I needed to go to Target, as I was walking into the store I felt the telltale sign that another storm was on it's way. This one felt bad. I grabbed a honey stick as I entered the store and way working away on the cinnamon honey as I did my shopping. It didn't totally get rid of the headache but it helped give me a bit of sugar boost to get through it.

Oh and I bought a ton of records at the KGNU record sale. I must have bought over a 100 records for $5. I could have gotten more but I was tired and hungry. Speaking of which, my food is done! yay! off to eat.

Stupid bike

2006-08-26T08:11:00.000-06:00

I was really excited to get my bike from home. I went to the REI sale (which took me about an hour to get there due to insane traffic) to buy gloves, helmet, pump, and lock. Well they didn't have anymore U locks but I got everything else. I got home from work, changed, and dragged my bike out of the car. I haen't riden a bike in about 10 years and never even taken one apart. To fit in my car, the front tire had to be taken off... I thought no prob I will just stick it back on.

One hour later with two torn up hands, I gave up. The damn brake is near impossible to get back on. I threw everything back in the car (literally) and went and played video games to vent my shear frustration with the whole thing.

I suck hardcore on a bike but I am going to try anyway. I am taking it to the bike shop and having them put the tire back on and then I will attept to get it back into my without taking it off again. Because I suck on a bike I would love to get a trike or big wheel... however I have no money. Therfore I am going to need to get my balance back real quick.

I'll let you know if I end up in the hospital because there is a good chance I will fracture my elbow (for the 3rd time) if I fall down, which would most likely mean getting a metal pin in my elbow. And I have been falling into walls lately just walking around the apartment. I will be walking down the hallway and suddenly I am half slumped on the wall. It's sometimes funny in the morning when I am sleepy because I end up falling back into bed because I don't have my balance yet.

So why am I attempting to ride my bike if there is a chance I could kill myself due to my body being f'ed up? Well... I really really want to. I'd love to be able to ride my bike to campus rather than riding the bus cause the bus to my house is a bit of pain because it runs infrequently and driving everywhere costs me an arm and a leg in gas. It easier to find a place to park your bike than your car in this town.

Ice Cream

2006-08-22T19:01:00.000-06:00

I just went and got ice cream with Matt (station engineer). It was fun. I should hang out with him more.

i HATE migraines!!!

2006-08-21T12:24:00.000-06:00

They are better then they used to be, but with the weather been all wacky... low pressure systems have the grandest ability to knock me out.

I have developed a bit of a solution to migraine issues... these have mostly been the pain without noise or lightsensitivity (except my one this morning). I am basically brain dead otherwise... and I can do three things: sleep (which sometimes is impossible due to the pain), watch TV (although shows that require much thought hurt... which is why I loved it when I got cartoon network) and play video games. So I distract myself from the pain by lying in bed playing video games... although when I was trying to play Half-Life 2, sometimes it required too much thought for a migraine brain so I'd turn it off. But usually at some point either drugs have kicked in enough that I can sleep without too much pain or the weather system has moved on and I feel weak but okay again.

I hurt right now, I think I may go back to bed for a bit and see if the pain subsides.

Dreams, weird. yes?

2006-08-20T07:18:00.000-06:00

I had a really weird dream last night and it is still haunting me this morning. I had a dream I was in Europe during the outbreak of a war and had to escape to a castle. What is strange is that during my dream I would feel physically cold whenever I would travel through a snowy area, like blowing snow against your skin cold (which it can't get that cold in my apartment at night in the summer) and when I finally got to the castle when I went near the fire it was much warmer. Little things like that, sensations and what not made it feel very real. Okay but that isnt why it haunts me, throughout the entire dream there was a friend of mine there and I have known him for a few years, and I have never had a crush on him except a mild curiousity of what it would be like to date him. So yeah it was weird because in my dream he saw me naked while I was taking a shower and it wasn't akward in my dream but now I am little disturbed. I know it isn't real but still, what the hell is up with my subconsious? And no, before you ask it is not any of the Jasons...
Oh and the guy in my dream almost kissed... again now it's akward in real life for me.

I think the reason I dreamed about him last night was because I was thinking about something he said to me recently. The rest I am going to try and blame on Half-Life 2. (Which I've beat btw).

Big Wheel Rally

2006-08-13T09:30:00.000-06:00

Okay, there are tons of photos to come of me riding an adult sized big wheel in downtown Boulder. I really want now and modify it so I can ride it on like Boulder Bike Path, to and from campus, etc. It's a hell of a workout (both lower and upper body... when you have to carry it up steep hills) but it's a blast. I am having a hard time finding one.... anybody know anything about bikes?? I suck hardcore on a real bike ( I have a mountain bike but even then I still suck). I'd almost get a trike (yeah like little old people ride) but it'd probably cost me the same as a kick ass adult big wheel.

We were out till about 4:30 am riding. When the bars closed we ended up going to parking garages and racing down them. The whole parking garage roared with thunder and shook.

So we almost got ticketed by the cops when we were on Pearl St. We were out in front of Old Chicago and some of the guys started doing jumps including Ethan who is 6 and adorable, then we we were going to take off to Hapa and on to Sundowner (aka Scumdowner). Captain Obvious was pretty drunk.... okay really drunk and I was riding with his fiancee Amy and Peter (an extreme big wheeler) and Chris (the pirate). We were going around warming up for the take off, I followed Amy around the corner and suddendly there was this cop... "Ma'm! You can't ride your bike on Pearl Steet!!" I kept pedaling only cause no one else stopped. He yelled at me again so I got off. I picked up the rig and walked down toward the scumdowner,and walked away from the cop... as soon as I got off my ride, everyone else did. Captain talked us out of a ticket for riding our "bikes" on pearl street, there were 4 cops. We went to the Scumdowner and then moved on.

Later at the first parking garage a cop came by to a group of us who were just sitting (and watching the cop car across the street to leave so the rest of us could go riding), the cop told us to knock it off. We hopped on our big wheels and went to another parking garage. After a while at that garage, another cop drove by (the wrong way on a one-way without his lights on) and started to turn into the parking garage. We pedeled as fast as we could the other way back to Pearl and came blazing out of an alley onto the mall. We went back after the cop left. Everywhere we went there were cops... we stuck to alleys and even then they were there. Talk about bored cops in Boulder. Slooooow Saturday night I guess.

I saw Travis (1190 office bitch Travis), Brook, Shervin, Brandee, Tony, Matt H, and Ben that night.

Oh and the gay straight boy... nearly forgot. Yes they exsist.
Okay a gay straight man is a straight man with all the qualities of a gay man but is actually straight.

"The gay straight man was a new strain of heterosexual males spawned in Manhattan as a result of overexposure to fashion, exotic cuisine, musical theater, and antique furniture." - Carrie from 'Sex in the City'

This guy, Jason, walks up to me while I am waiting outside Old Chicago for the crew to assemble. He is wearing skin tight black pleather pants, a tight black shirt (tucked in), nice black shoes. He is like a cross between my gay Matty and I don't know... a creepwad? lol Anyway Jason sitis down next to me and start talking, after a bit I introduce him to Larry (who was in my backpack for the ride). He is constanly winking at me, he has a bit of a lisp, he goes to dance clubs and bondage clubs, he is a theater preformance major at Naropa, and I thought I had dated enough gay guys that my radar was pretty much tuned... he screamed gay gay gay. He totally looked like some guy Matt would have dated but he did have this creepy vibe about him... like creepy. One of our riders had a really cool landscape shirt on and Jason leans over and says "I would totally tell that guy that I want to fall into his shirt but most people think I am gay but I'm not"

*inner monolouge* YOU'RE NOT?!?! Oh fuck I thought I had this all figured out... goddamnit.

Thank goddess he didn't have any paper on him, cause he did ask for my number. Oh and Ben stopped by and saved me for a bit from creepy gay straight man... who, at that point, I could not remember the guy's name.

Anyway, pictures to come. :)

Last night

2006-08-10T10:13:00.000-06:00

I had two invited to go out, one board game night and one jazz club thing. What did I do? Stay at home, continue to be vaguely depressed, blow up cows and fling humans across the map. I beat "Destory All Humans". I really want to buy another video game. Soemthing with zombies... and humor.

Oh yeah, have to see this moive...

2006-08-09T18:50:00.000-06:00

The are releasing a remake of the Wicker man (hears Amy screaming "oh god no!!!"). It's a 1973 cult classic with (of all people) Christopher Lee playing Lord Sumerisle. I have an orginal movie poster haning in my room in Lakewood.

Oh did I mention that Nicholas Cage stars in the new Wicker man. The only thing weirder would be a remake of Zardoz. And yes, before you ask, that is Sean Connery in a red speedo. With guns.

Many many things...

2006-08-09T09:29:00.000-06:00

So the Tuesday night show (Culture Clash) is going really well... in about an hour and half I have an interview with the French pop band Peppermoon. Right now I am just listening to my show from two weeks ago with the Manderin version of "Dragastea Din Tei" done by Furusato... yep, it exsists. Also I must learn the dance, and her arms are way skinny and long... freaky.

I got some cool stuff for my birthday including many CDs, new towels and sheets (I'm a dork and asked for them) and I got an old suitcase. I will take a photo of it, it's way way cool. My dad built dividers in it so I can carry CDs easily. He also bought me a book that has vintage international labels, it comes with a CD so you can print them out. My plan is too get some super sticky paper I can print them on and stick them on the suitcase.

My sister is out of the hospital, she got two concussions and ended up in the multi-trauma unit for 5 days. A box fell on her and hit the back of her head and it hurt but she didn't black out or anything. She was going to take a bath a couple hours later, started running the tub and the next thing she knew her husband was pulling her out of the tub. She blacked out, fell in with all her clothes on and hit her head on the faucet. She was out for about 10-15 min. She is doing betterish and her birthday is tomorrow.

I finished with my music business class. I think I got an A or A- depending on what he decides 91% is. I got a 100% on my 10 page paper I was working on, which is nice cause I spent a good number of hours on it between research and writing it.

Crap I should run, I need to head into the station and start prep work for the interview. To be continued...

yay birthday! go me!!

2006-07-31T21:46:00.000-06:00

I'm 23! yay!

I skipped Bloc Party (was sad at first and then got over it) and went to Jose O'Shea's with my dad. We got margaritas and sopapias and a choco taco thing. The chocolate thing was chocolate ice cram, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, brownie sticks coming out in a taco shell. The waitress put a spakler in it because my dad told her it was my birthday. She came over later and said "any shots for the birthday girl?!?!" I was fairly tipsy on my strawberry marg that I didn't need shots.

Gone Fishing!

2006-07-28T10:42:00.000-06:00

I'm out of town until Tuesday off with Amy's family in Glenwood Spring/Marble. This is my nice destress break.

It makes me happy.

2006-07-25T09:43:00.000-06:00

This is the only thing that made me laugh after crying for 2 hours

And cause all of us need to feel pretty sometimes

How was my day at work?

2006-07-21T21:18:00.000-06:00

Pretty much like this.

Night Terrors

2006-07-20T16:32:00.000-06:00

One thing that I have never written about (maybe because I feel kinda stupid) is that I have night terrors.

Usually it very sparatic and often happens when I am taking naps after little or no sleep the night before.

I guess I didn't really know what was going on until recently when I was watching a thing on the Discovery channel about sleep disorders. I knew what I experienced was a form of sleep paralysis but it was more than that.

"Sleep paralysis:
Inability to move or speak for 30 seconds - 3 minutes
Speech is difficult or almost impossible
Happens before falling asleep or just after waking up
Can be hereditary
Can be brought on by stress

Sleep paralysis is the experience of waking up (usually form a dream) and feeling paralyzed, except for being able to breathe and move the eyes. Hypnogogic hallucinations and sleep paralysis may occur together. These conditions are common in people with narcolepsy but can also effect others, particularly people who are sleep-deprived. Although a pretty terrifying event, these events are not physically harmful. There are two major types of sleep paralysis: common (typical) also known as CSP and hallucinatory (hypnagogic) sleep paralysis known as HSP.

Differences between CSP and HSP.

CSP is common and universal, HSP is rare and seems to be geographically episodic. CSP is only unnerving for the sleeper but HSP is accompanied by a nightmare like hallucination. CSP is of relatively short duration where HSP can last as long as seven or eight minutes. One of the most important differences between Night Terrors and CSP is that CSPs occurs in Stage one of sleep and Night Terrors occur in stage four." - Night Terror Resource Center

Last night was probably the WORST night terror I have every experienced, and that is why I am writting about it. But let me go back for a moment...

My night terrors fall under the HSP catagorey, what happens is that I 'wake up' and I can't move, the room will be slightly hazy, it feels like something is the room and is going to hurt me but I can't see anything. I try to scream and I can't, nor can I move. I struggle for breath and at the same time am trying to wake myself up. It's scary as fuck because you can't move anything except your eyes. I do not sleep on my back (I'm a side sleeper) but everytime this has happened, I am on my back. This only started happening a few years ago. The last time I had an episode like this, it was about a month or two ago and I was taking a nap in my bed in my new apartment. I had three night terrors one after another. I am not sure how much time occured between them but I didn't remember my dreams, only the night terrors.

Also my dad has mild sleep apnia and dad's mom has mild narcolepsy.

Last night, I put the dog outside since she tends to like to sleep outside, covered the bird cage and went to bed. I fell asleep around 11:30... at about 12:50am I woke up to loud chipping noises (like a fire alarm going off) about three in sucession and then it stopped. I was sweating, my heart was racing, and my whole body was shaking. I lay in bed terrified clutching my stuffed rabbit. I tried to fall back asleep but I couldn't... 10 min later my heart is still racing and my body shaking. I leapt of bed, turned on the light and called my dad. I just started crying, I was so scared esp since I am all alone in Jessica's house. I was crying, shaking and sweating... my heart still pounding. My dad calmed me down saying that maybe I imagined it or it could be the battery is dying in the smoke alarm... both are possible. I woke up Fern in the backyard and she came in. After I got off the phone, I lay on the couch for a while and Fern didn't leave my side. It was very calming to have the dog there. I watched some TV and eventually fell asleep but would wake up randomly. Fern tried to get me to feed her at 4am but she doesn't get fed until 6:30 but she thought she'd try anyway. She nuzzled me at 6:30 and I got up to get her breakfast. I went back to the actual bed until 9:30... I couldn't get in that bed till it was light out, I was still so scared.

Even now I am still shaky and scared. It was one of the most terrifying things that happened to me. I am going to talk to my doc about medication or management of it. I know less stress and more sleep would help.

Tonight I am going to try to go to bed early tonight and find some benadryl, also Fern is sleeping inside.

Friend for sale

2006-07-19T23:11:00.000-06:00

So once again I was ditched by my 'friends' at the station. I am not sure why, maybe I misread the situation but yeah, luckily Amy talked to me on the phone and still loves me.

I've been feeling a great loneliness lately, no one calls me (with the exception of Amy), no one wants to hang out, everybody is just doing their own thing and I guess forgetting that I exsist. I talk to one preson on IM on a pretty regular basis, and the one night that I wish they were here to just to talk... they are not signed on.

As a social vampire, it's a hard blow to be neglected. It has sent me into a bit of a lull/depression, I've been trying to cheer myself up but it's not really working. I am also overworked and stressed and these two combine to make a sort of vague apathy and a slight hope that maybe tomorrow will be better. I smile, I laugh, but I found that the past few days those moments only come from humorous online conversations and a dog that I only will see for a week.

So if anyone is looking for a friend, slightly used, enjoys activities that require little or no money, will travel... let me know. I need to hang out with someone, even if it just watching TV in this empty house.

For now I am going to lay on a very comfy bed and hope Fern (the dog) will be up for a walk to the park in the morning before breakfast.

Aliens, et al.

2006-07-17T10:53:00.000-06:00

This weekend was MUFON, the UFO symposium. My mother (who I invited) didn't come because she got a new job. It was a really great conference. We got tons of interviews and met lots of very nice people. Plus I got some great camping/roadtrip ideas.

We interviewed Lind Moulton Howe, who loved us because we were a bunch of female reporters. She started out as a reporter for Channel 7. She was a very nice woman, and very popular so it was great she took the time to talk to us. She has been threatened by the government and stared down a man-in-black with a gun in her face.

Ken and Bob were great, they are both Colorado police officers and Bob is a former marine. They told us all sorts of stories about a roadtrip to Utah they took to find the new "area 51". Showed us photos of helicopters that followed them (4 big black helicopters) and showed us amazing photos from thier trip. I want to drive the Poney Express road and go out there, mostly to see what the military does.

Brian Boldman was a very very nice man. His research is in stuff called "Angel Hair" which is similar to spiderwebs (but with some crazy volitiles, he showed me the chemical analysis) but covers ares of 30 miles. He was very nervous about giving his talk and doing interviews but he was awesome. After his talk he asked Sam and I what we thought.

Ted Phillips was also very nice and his research is interesting. He looks at landing sites and does forensic investigations on possible encounters and the evidence left behind.

I think the thing I liked most about the conference was that is was about physical trace evidence, therefore when I was hearing talks and interviews, I would come up with all sorts of lovely science questions. I am not really a skeptic but when it comes to anything, I am skeptical.

(an wow, the guys mowing the lawn just broke our window...awesome. scared the crap out of me. they caught a rock in the mower, it disloged and broke out window. damnit.)

Anyway it was a really interesting conference, and as far as I am concered... like in the movie Contact, if we are the only ones in the universe then it was a big waste of space.

Sam and Emilie hooked up with the only guys at the conference who were our age and were hot. I felt like the 5th wheel because they all ditched me at one point after the conference so I ended up talking to there 40-50 somethings about Big Foot and really couldn't go home since I was Sam's ride. I was feeling pretty ticked and depressed. But whatever, I'm fine.

And for those "Eating Raoul" fans... there is an episode of "Amazing Stories" with Paul and Mary and man is it WEIRD. I just saw it.

Also I think I am going to have a Alien party: alien cake, play "Destroy All Humans", watch some cheesy Alien movies. I think it'd be fun.

The "G" word

2006-07-10T22:48:00.000-06:00

So there is a good chance I can graduate in December. I know, me... graduating. Who'd thunk it? Well it would be graduating with a degree in Geology, the only thing that stand between me and it, is 9 credit hours. But with me, nothing is ever that simple.

My orginal plan, back in the day when I wanted to do Mars (but then realized I would shoot myself if I had to write science papers for a living) I was going to take Geophysics. In our Geology program we have the choice of two of these three courses: Geochemistry, Geophysics, and Paleobiology. I took Geochem about 3 years ago, it wasn't easy but I got through it (in fact is supposed to be one of the hardest classes in the dept.) But back then taking Paleo didn't make much sense for my Mars thing which sucks cause I enjoy fossils. Well stupid me realized this weekend with this whole "I want to do music" thing that I don't need to force myself to take Geophysics which is only offered in the Spring and the main reason I was taking the whole year to finish. I am now going for the much easier and more interesting to me, Paleo, which is offered in the Fall. Yay!

Okay so I thought I only needed one other class to graduate, well turns out it's 2, Comtemporary Societies and Critical Thinking reqirements. So I think I may end up with Language & Society and a Japanese Literature class becasue a) they are not, or just barely full and b) they sound vaguely interesting especially compared to other choices in those catagories.

Now I am working on a Music Business Certificate, which is the other reason I was taking a whole year to finish, but with the "you can only take up to 6 credit hours at Denver while you are a Boulder student" B.S. was driving me nuts and begining to make this much harder to do. Unfort as well, Intro to Songwriting which I was planning to take is full (totally closed, no waitlist with both online and on campus sections) and Music Business II is at the same time as the offer I have to TA Henrietta's GIS class. Well I still haven't found a solution to the Fall classes (except e-mail mania to the head of the program who is the prof who teaches Songwriting), I have found a solution to the 6 credit hour crap.

I will graduate from Boulder with Geology in the Fall. Enroll to be a second non-degree seeking student at Denver in the Spring. Finish the certificate in one semester (because I will have only 3-4 classes to finish it and depending on stuff may take some other production classes). Off to Japan in July (if I am accepted to JET). And After a year in Japan... well... I haven't gotten that far in life planning.

And in all of this craziness, I still get to keep my jobs at 1190... the University Employment people said so. :-D

Woot! So I meet with my advisor Alan on Weds. to discuss gradumatation (and maybe get to meet his baby girl who he and his wife just adopted from China).

I should get to bed now however, I am supposed to stop by J-pop Jessica's house tomorrow because I might be house/dog sitting for her next week. I am going to cover her show on the 23rd which is great cause I get to burn myself more j-pop from her personal collection. I also need to plan my show tomorrow and finish off the 1190 MUFON t-shirt design.

2006-07-08T22:07:00.000-06:00

I saw a a deer today crossing Broadway as I was walking to my car after DJing. I've lived in Colorado all my life, and I am still amazed when I see wildlife. I guess I am easily amused/entertained.

Court hearing, depressed as hell.

2006-07-06T11:03:00.000-06:00

It's along story but I have to (and yes, I have to) testify in court tomorrow on a incident which happened.... six months ago. Sucks. I realllllly don't want to. Partially because I feel like the defense attorney has been harrasing me. I get to talk to the state attorney today which I am really glad because I haven't really gotten to talk to him (because aparently the orginal attorney has switched districts). But it has really drained me joy/happy wise which sucks cause I was feeling really good these past couple days, getting tons of stuff done, really happy.... now I have to deal with this.

Why was I a good person and called the cops when kids started breaking stuff?

NOTE: Today while I was working at the station, the defense attorney showed up. It totally pissed me off. I was like, wtf?!

SECOND NOTE: Got a call from the state attorney, I don't have to testify at the hearing or at any future trial. And of course the defense attorney called... I didn't pick up and let it go to voicemal. He wanted to let me know as well.... even though the state attorney told him that he wouldn't need to call me.

Two things to make you laugh

2006-07-05T17:18:00.000-06:00

March of the Emperors

German Coast Guard

(I must have watched them like a million times by now, they crack me up.)

iPod struggling for breath

2006-07-02T17:45:00.000-06:00

My iPod came home yesterday.

Geek squad employee: "Can I help you?"
Me: "Yes. I am here to pick up my piece of crap broken iPod."
I tried turning it on, with no sucess. It promptly was tossed in my purse where I forgot about it, cause it's broken...

...or is it really?

I went to go run some errands and forgot to grab my CD player. 1190 wasn't very thrilling at the moment so on a lark, I pulled out the iPod from my purse. I plugged into my car charger and iTrip, hit shuffle, it started playing... no problems.

This of course validates Murphy's Law of Electronics as I had just ordered a new iPod about an hour before I had to run some errands.
"As soon as you have purchased a replacement, the old broken one will work again."

But considering my check from CU covered the cost of the new one, plus shipping (okay it was $10 short of the entire cost), I am okay with that. It's a refurb, 30 gig, black, video, and 3 year extended warrenty. $259.35

I plugged in my iPod to my computer and have started getting the music that I once thought lost. I can pull 5-6 playlists before it wigs out a bit. I am giving baby a rest right now. Will attempt more later. So it's not quite dead, it's limping along.

Relaxing Weekend (knock on wood)

2006-07-02T06:20:00.000-06:00

It's been a while where I can take a weekend to just kinda chill, next week will be slightly hellishly busy but I am trying not to think about it. I spent yesterday napping and running errands (only to realize this morning that I totally forgot a couple of things, I did get my Ipod back, btw). The pain in my legs was nearly unbearable again, I almost took a percocet during the day to help (I've been taking it just before bed), but in the end took a few Ibprophen and slept 3 hours. I did have a ton of fun during my show, I wasn't really tired, I got no callers, but still had a blast.

Friday my dad helped me clean and unpack. I certainly had some but not enough motivation to do it on my own. Plus he brought up my desktop which made me very happy because I have much music on there that I miss. Plus I will try to hook up my turntable to my computer (finally) but come to think of it, I am not sure if I have the software here.

I didn't really sleep well last night, it was this kinda half drugged up stupor and half dreaming thing. My limbs were fairly numb which made it interesting to try to turn over. My brain was really wanting to get up and do things but I knew I would just fall to the floor and not be able to get up.

My legs are giving me lots of trouble thing morning, I am going to take a handful of Ibprophen and head to the station.

Oh and I watched the last half of "Briget Jones' Diary" (I've never seen it before) and at the end, it made me really happy to be single.

Plans today include, baking for the party, trying to get my room to look pretty, doing a bit of artwork.

Doctor office extravaganza!

2006-06-29T22:51:00.000-06:00

I spent about 3-4 hours in doctors offices today. Spoke to one nurse on the phone, got test results from another, got my stats checked by two different nurses, and saw two doctors (although the one wasn't the super cool dude but instead slightly "I am going to ignore your more painful symptoms" chick in urgent care) .

I've also decided that hell is figuring out how to put on and tie a medical gown. You go to hell and it's a bunch of people standing in public trying to find the second tie that ultimately doesn't exsist which just makes you sit there and fiddle with the one string going "it must tie to something!" Hitler of course, says it in German.

Anyway I have some stomach virus that while making my tummy hurt, has also swollen all of my intestines and stomach causese the nerves in my back to become pinched and explaining the horrible and unending pain in my legs. It all should be gone by Sunday.

Meanwhile I have Nexium for the stomach and Percocet for the pain.

And I thought my dreams were fucked up before!

And in studyin for my exam today (which I think I did okay on) I sorta watched three awful sci-fi movies, well not awful, just cheesy. One had Joey Lawrence in it, which took me a half-hour to figure out and then made me laugh.

Because I have no comments lately, I am assuming people have not caught up with my blog. Or in anyone does read it, they don't care enough to comment.

Family stuff

2006-06-28T23:17:00.000-06:00

There is a good chance that my mom is not only smoking pot (which she has done basically non stop since she was 15, even during two pregnancies) but is possibly doing and dealing cocaine.

I had a really good talk with my sister just now, I couldn't really sleep and she called. We talked for almost two hours about stuff, mostly family whatnot. My sister, Heidi, (if you aren't up on everything) is my half-sister on my mom's side and 10 years older. Well, today while they were packing up my mom's old stuff, our mom broke Heidi's thumb because well, my mother has no patience and a got pissed off.

With this and the now, "our mom is probably a coke head" shit, I really don't want to go to MUFON with my mother and the 1190 news team. Partially because my mother has gone past the point of undealable with stuff. I saw her this weekend and could barely tolerate a half-day with her, I can't imagine an entire weekend. I am not sure what to do. I hate to tell her that she can't come to MUFON with us. Suggestions?

Thank goddess I have one stable parent. I guess I tended to block out that my mom is a pot-head, that god knows what is wrong with me and Heidi as adults because our mom was constantly baked when we were in the womb. People say pot won't fuck you up. Just look at my mom before she started doing other drugs.

It's a long complicated story about why Heidi and I think she might be dealing and/or doing cocaine. And please don't pick it apart even if I do choose to tell you (and even if I don't). You don't know, you don't know my mother, you don't understand. Yes there is a possibility that she isn't but that isn't to say she is not getting worse, you wouldn't understand unless you witnessed it yourself. Just imagine the worst mental snap you've ever seen on TV where someone is screaming for no reason, they just are, they lost their keys, the steak isn't cooked right, whatever. Just picture it. They are screaming, they don't care who they hurt as the chuck stuff, they don't care what they break, it's like an adult temper tantrum. Now make it ten times worse and ten times louder. That's my mom. All the time. It's like a ticking bomb and you aren't sure what is going to set her off. And it has gotten worse, which I didn't think was possible.

If you don't think it is bad, then you didn't picture it well enough.

Heidi and I inherited some of this temperament from our mother. As adults we are able to control it. It's hard, but it can be done. It's like this rage and frustration you can never imagine. When I was younger, it was hard to control. As I have gotten older, I can control it better... if you have been around me long enough you may have seen when I snap... I've tried to train myself to give up or walk away. Most times I can do this, not always. Most of the time I don't even work myself up to that point. Thank goodness.

I guess I always wanted to think my family was just quirky fucked up not really fucked up.

Pretty much turned off by facebook

2006-06-28T16:37:00.000-06:00

So Facebook will not bring back Larry's profile. This pisses me off because they destroyed it about a month ago and now I can't get it back at all. I really don't have the time nor energy to create a new one and I really don't want to log in to my own profile at this point. I think I am going to fix it and make it all general and not really log into it all that often. I'll work on myspazz if I feel the need to be contected and whatnot. I'm probably just bitter but meh.

Short update

2006-06-28T09:17:00.000-06:00

I am sick, no idea what is wrong with me, can't eat much beyond crackers without my stomach freaking out. Now I have unexplained pains in my legs. Going to the clinic today. Maybe they can give me a new body.

Station smells like wet dog. Apparently we had 3-4 inches of water in the place. We are back on air (as of Monday 9am) but you really can't hear us because the transmitter won't be fixed till later this week. Poor Matt is working so hard to keep this place functioning.

I have an exam tomorrow which I am not ready for at all. *sigh* again.

Weird dreams lately including:
- Hanging out with Garrison Keillor
- Dancing at an outdoor goth rave
- Seeing Flogging Molly
(all of those were part of the same dream)
- Falling in love with a Shaolin warrior while we were both in prison (I know, I don't really get where this one came from either...) He was there to do a prison break for his friends that were wrongly imprisoned, I was a political prisoner. We met in the midst of gunfire during the prison break.
- Hosting a t.A.t.U. concert at my grandmother's house

These dreams had me waking up going "WTF!?". And I haven't taken any drugs....that I know of.

Because deep down, I am still 16 years old

2006-06-26T20:56:00.000-06:00

Stolen from Tim on Myspazz... thanks Tim!

Your Autobiography

Part 1: The Birth of You

- Were you a planned baby?: Oh hell no.

- Were you the first?: For my dad yes, mom no.

- Were your parents married when you were born?: yes, just barely.

- What is your birthdate?: July 31, 1983

Part 2: The Family

- How would you describe your family?: Crazy as all fuck. Both sides.

- Are your parents married? Divorced? Seperated?: Divorced.

- Siblings or an only child?: My half-sister who is 10 years older

- If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?: See above.

- What are your siblings names?: Heidi

- Which parent do you get along with best?: My dad.

- What do you fight about?: Don't really.

- Do you have step parents?: No but step-grandparents, I have many.

Part 3: The Friends

- Do you have more than one best friend?: You are correct sir!

- Who is your best friend or friends?: Londyn, Amy, Andrea, Matt (gay gold pants Matt), Daniel, Eleanor, list goes on....

-What do you like to do when you are together?: Wander mostly, hang out, get bored together.

- Do you share the same interests?: Yeah pretty much.

- Which friend can you tell anything to?: Uh, all of them. They are my best friends because they could blackmail me with what they know about me, so why not keep on telling them...

Part 4: Your Personality

- How high/low is your self esteem?: Depends on the day, weather, temperature, time zone, barometric pressure, etc.

- Do you get depressed about things easily?: No, although lately my moods have been kinda messed up.

- Are you an extrovert or an introvert?: EXTROVERT!... well most of the time.

- Happy?: Sure why not.

- Do you live life to the fullest?: No, but I am attempting to, yeah sorta, better than most I suppose.

Part 5: Appearance

- Are you comfortable with the way you look?: Not really but meh.

- What would you change about your appearance if you could?: Nothing, I just need to hit the gym more.

- Do you have any piercings besides your ears?: When you put it that way, no.

- Describe your hair?: Dark brown, color going anywhere from red to black depending on when and if I last dyed it. Short, straight, and trying to grow.

- How do you dress?: Like a DJ apparently.

Part 6: The Past

- Were you a strange child?: Yes.

- What did you use to love that you no longer do?: Dance, I need to sign up for some classes.

- Do you have the same friends?: Since when? Do I have the same friend since 1st grade? No. High school? Only a few.

- Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?: Yes, when my grandmother's kitchen caught on fire when I was like 4 or 5. Therefore I don't deal well with hot things near my skin. Oh and don't ever yell at me. No joke, I curl up into a little ball and breakdown.

Part 7: The Future

- What is your ambition?: Used to be to become an astronaut. Now I want to be in the music industry doing something I love, club DJ, radio DJ, talent scout, whatever.

-Are you scared of growing old?: Not really. Dying, no.

-Do you want to get married?: Are you asking me? Cause we just met and you seem really nice but aren't you moving a little fast there buddy....?

Part 8: The Outdoors

- Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: Outdoors, I love sunshine. Ironic that I burn easily.

- What is your favorite season?: Spring, right before the pollen attacks my allergies and Summer when it's not too hot.

- Favorite weather?: I got lots of favourites but warm sunshiney days and warm nights and snowy weather curled up with hot chocolate are top of the list.

- Do you like walking in the rain?: Well, I prefer dancing in the rain.

Part 9: Food

- Are you a vegetarian?: I live in Boulder so I am a meat-eating vegetarian.

- What is your favorite food?: Indian, Japanese, German.

- What food makes you want to gag?: Is mineral water a food?

- What is your favorite dessert?: Pretty much stuff with chocolate in it.

- What is your favorite restaurant?: Taj.

- Are you a picky eater?: Me? Hell no. I'll try anything.

Part 10: Relationships and Love

-Are you single or taken?: Who wants to know?? Oh right, single.

-Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: No, it is the most confusing emotion, anywhere from pure bliss to pure hell.

-Believe in love at first sight?: Or do I have to walk by again?

Not as bad as I thought

2006-06-25T22:13:00.000-06:00

I went by the station today. There was no one there and other than the *squish*squish*squish* and moved furniture, you wouldn't think anything had happened. The bookstore's storage (right next to us) also got hit, and most of their stuff is in cardboard boxes. I am not sure what we are going to do about on air stuff. I am going to go in to work maybe early tomorrow and see what I can do. It was a little eerie walking around the station. There really wasn't anything to take picture of, there were alot of down leaves and stuff on campus which I did take a picture of.

I am still weak as hell, but I figure a good night's rest and a shower in the morning should help.

Our poor station

2006-06-25T11:11:00.000-06:00

This is a short one...

My phone has been dying so I kept it turned off most of yesterday. I spent yesterday at HarMart and my grandmother's house (HarMart trip in future post). This morning I woke up at 5:20 and I felt so sick, I had horrible stomach cramps. Fuck, food poisoning. My stomach can be weird and sensitive to the mildest of food poisoning. I felt like I was going to puke. I wandered out to my car to get my phone (I left it there last night because I am dumb). I could barely walk, my dizziness was triggered by my stupid body being sick.

I called my dad and he suggested a cab there and back to fix it up so I didn't have to DJ. I am sitting outside, waiting for the cab I called and I go to check my voicemail since I noticed I had one. "Phone number 303 (must be a message from dad) 735-5880 (a campus number?)..."

"Hi Steph, it's Pat from the radio station. I was just calling to let you know that freak rain storm we had uh... flooded the radio station. So there is about an inch of water, it was worse earlier but we've been here for a couple hours cleaning it up. The station is going to be closed on Sunday and what this means for you, is that you don't need to do your show tomorrow, we are going to have some CDs running."

WOW. Well so the one day I get food poisoning, I don't have to DJ because our station is f'ed.

I went to bed and had two weird dreams including making out with Mabry at the station and going to Kathy's wedding (which was last summer) but she was marrying a guy named Rich and I was dating this asshole that looked like Travis (my ex).

I feel better now, and the only people allowed in the station at this point are managers. I think I may take a short shower, grab some of my dingy clothes and head over there. I am going to take my camera. I just want to se what the damage is and if I can help (because I am sure there are people over there).

And our transmitter was hit by lightning twice in the past two weeks, we blew out 4 electrical componenets. Matt (our engineer) went to call the company to get it fixed and apparently the University hadn't paided them the money we owed from them fixing the transmitter last summer. We are running on our "backup" which is vaccumm glass tubes and a piece of equipment from 1957. Instead of 6.8 kW during the day and 100 Watts at night, we are 1.2 kW, 24 hours. Which means we are 10 times stronger at night. We can do this for 2 weeks without calling the FCC. Matt worked it out with the company and we are going to get the components back sometime this week.

Men and me

2006-06-24T07:14:00.000-06:00

It always seems that when you don't have the time to write, that is when you want to. It happened as I was getting ready to leave for the station this morning. Luckily, we have a Mac in the airoom (but how I dearly miss the Linux machine with two screen, let's hope it come back soon).

I suppose some updates are in order, my depression is much better and I actually started doing something about the fact I am living out of boxes, by unpacking them. I was once talking to our News director about migraines (since he used to get them) and told him how they once put me on a medication that basically made me bipolar (Lexapro) to counteract the side effects of my migraine prevention medication (Toporol). He told me "I really can't imgaine you depressed, like if one day I came into work and said hi and you just would glare at me.... I would think I ended up in a parallel backwards universe or something." I tend to be a really upbeat person most of the time, which most people don't understand or can't deal with.

I do hate that when I am writing and DJing I sometimes have to stop mid-sent---
Sorry, where was I? I had to change the CD.

Oh right, the fact that my entire life right now is the radio station...kay. I am there 7 days a week and hang out with station folk on my off time, and am working on station stuff in my free time. Talk to me and I have station stories. Why? I am dork. Oh! speaking of which, I have a new website I have been working on for my Tuesday night show Culture Clash. Check it out, add me as a friend, etc. Yay! All my HTML mad skill came in handy. Mike (our General Manager) needed help with his Myspazz site. As a thank you, he gave a me a copy of our CD of the month for June. Plus I helped with a few minor changes to the 1190 site because I could look at the code and figure out why Dreamweaver was screwing it up.

(I just had the joy of walking around with only one shoe in the UMC because I had to prop a door with one shoe to get to the bathroom, only to find they locked the bathroom and so I had to go wander to find a bathroom upstairs....I swear the UMC is trying to kill us)

I was talking to another DJ at the station (Sam) and she was telling me about how our music director had a falling out with his best firend, partially because he spet too much time at the station. It made me think about the number of guys who just give me a sideways glance because I spent so much time at 1190.

So I figured out a new set of guy requirements, because I have these strange obsessions, and I think in order to understand me, you have to understand that I have these odd things that I absolutley love and can't live without and will sometimes go into a wild frenzy for (most music stuff):

- Radio 1190, I love this station and 99% of the time I don't even think of my two jobs here as jobs. Plus when pledge drive come around, my brian is pure 1190 mode. If I guy likes me, he will at least attempt to understand my obsession and if he really like me, he listens to my shows (but is not a creepy stalker, I have enough radio stalkers).

- India. I love Bollywood, I love Bhangra, I love henna, I own two saris. Why? Not really sure. Maybe it's because before I had any friends in Boulder I would spend my Friday nights watching Asian Variety Show with all the new bollywood movie lowdowns and music videos (and then would go to the planetarium and after that, finish up the night with a few rounds of bowling). Maybe because India seems like this amazing fairytale dream and the girly part of me just glees when I get near anything dealing with Indian culture. Speaking of which, I am sort a pissed there was no Holi celebration this year on campus.

- Cultural identity crisis. I obsession over other countries including Germany, Japan, and Australia, Tuva (which is now part of China), and have this unquenchable desire to travel.

- Old music. My ex never got this one and would just make fun of me. I LOVE Frank Sinatra, Marlene Dietrich, Edith Piaf, and artists that are much older than that. I will listen to music that is over a 100 years old and just love it. I will also get on Marlene and Sinatra kicks periodically.

- Gnomes. I loved gnomes ever since I got Larry. I now own 12 gnomes. If a guy doesn't like gnomes, he can kiss my ass. Yes, I will take Larry places and take pictures of him.

- Harold and Maude. My favorite movie. Ever. Plus I love Cat Stevens and he does the soundtrack.

- Sunflowers. I love sunflowers. I am seriously happy when someone gives me sunflowers, even better when they are silk (cause I hate watching flowers die) or a sunflower plant (or plant that looks like a sunflower). I also love gerber daises, marigolds, etc. I swear I hate it when a guy spends so much money on a girl. If a guy ever buys be expensive jewlry or takes me out to a super fancy resturant, I'd kick his ass. I swear the best romantic things are when you spend only a tiny bit of money: cook a girl dinner, give her some sunflowers and a mix tape, then watch a movie. Boy howdy that'd be an amazing romantic birthday. Fuck expensive necklaces and dinners at akward resturants.

- William Shatner. Music, TV, movies, he's the man. Same with Bob Barker. Liberace cracks me up too.

- Costume. Any excuse to dress up in costume, I am there! I got a rep at the 1190 parties for wearing some crazy ass outfits, cause it is fun.

Wow, reading over this list, I am crazy mo'fo. I glee over so many random things.

Most of this list stems from a discussion I had about the ex with paleo-Jason. Although we had much in common, the ex didn't get me, at all, and that is why we broke up. If he had gotten me, he wouldn't have showed up at my work during pledge drive, totally shitfaced. Or at the very least, we would still be friends.

Oh and Londyn and I were talking about a good way to see if should keep a man...
Does he take care of you when you are sick?

Okay this has been a me me me post. Later today I will do another update that is less me me me.

Oh but while I am here, I given up on Mabry (DJ Mike who randomly works at the station). I haven't seen him in person since the night at the scumdowner, and he hasn't called me back. So whatever. It's all good.

Moaning and bitching

2006-06-22T10:38:00.000-06:00

Still haven't found the cable for my camera, when I do I will upload some photos.

---
Mein iPod ist kaput. For good.

Finally the tech guy in Minnesota gave me a call and quoted $150 for the new harddrive, that is on top of the $50 I already paid. No warranty whatsoever on the work. I said no way.

Fabulous. So they are sending it back to me.

I am currently looking to buy a new iPod, 30gig video and I am going to get the extended 5 year warranty eventhough it will cost extra. I did find a new one for $270 will shipping, which is cheaper than what I can get from Apple with my student discount. The other technology I am looking at is the iRiver, but mostly likely I will go with the iPod.
---

I have been going through various bouts of depression lately. Right now I am feeling pretty good, but there are some days when I don't want to even get out of bed.

---

I need to find time to go to the gym, like before work or something, but my schedule has been so booked between class and work. Plus with the depression it makes it a bit harder.

---

Meh, and I failed my music bussiness exam even though I studied my ass off for it. Fugger.

I don't really feel like writing now, maybe later.

Update on my baby

2006-06-14T16:38:00.000-06:00

I get really emotional and irritable and depressed without music. My dad let me borrow his old CD player, so I am a bit better but I will be so happy when my iPod comes back.

My sick little iPod: part zwei

2006-06-12T11:26:00.000-06:00

I took my iPod to geek squad.
The guy takes one look at it and then says, "well it looks like you need a new hard drive."
"Say what?...um is there anything I could have done to prevent it?"
"Nope, these things happen."

*sigh*

So they give me the lowdown on what is going to happen. The deal is, I pay $49.95 upfront (this number is a plague) and they send it off to get it fixed at Apple. They will do a diagnosis and then Geek Squad will call me with the full estimate. If it does need a new hard drive, then it'll be around $150 but the $49.95 I paid will cover part of that, so really it's $100. Okay so I am thinking, $150.... that is half the cost of a new bigger better iPod. They already told me the music is not recoverable (which will lead me to a question later on) so hmmm....

I told them I'd think about it and called my dad. We decide to get it fixed since all the acsessories I already have would useless with a new iPod and would cost me an additonal $75 or so on top of the $300 of a new iPod.

I go back and the guy is helping me out and can't figure something out with the computer, so he calls over this other guy who probably thought I was flirting with him but actually I was just being nice and playing along with their jokes. For example, guy 2 is showing guy 1 something on the computer and he said "that's how you do that, weren't you trained youngin, geez?" Guy 1: "*rolls his eyes* yeah whatever..." Me: *picking up on the jokiness of the conversation* to Guy 2 "Maybe he needs a noob tag?" They both laughed.

Guy 2 is playing around with my iPod to put in the behaviour on the form and suddenly it comes up with the playlsits. I nearly lept over the counter. "Whoa hold on! Can I have a piece of paper and a pen?" Guy 1: "Are you going to write down the artists?" Me: "We'd be here all day...."
So I wrote down all of the playlists. Guy 1: "Wow, that's a lot of music." Me: "I'm a DJ."

Meanwhile, Guy 2 puts on a Beck CD (Odelay) and they are listening to it and talking. Again he must of thought me flirting but I was like "Hey, have you heard the new one?" "Yeah of course, love it. Have you heard the remix album?" "Totally, it's awesome." He then put on the remixed album.

Once I was done, I paid. They said it'd be 1-2 weeks for it to be fixed.

I am ging to be a depressed creature without constant music. I no longer have a portable CD player either.

So this brings me to my poll question.
Some of the music on my iPod, I never had on CD, I would just get it off of other peoples' computers and then I thought I would burn it off later.

However, that is no longer an option.
Therefore I am missing a good chunk of music because I don't have it on my computer or on CD. That chunk I got from Travis. I haven't talked to him in about oh 2 or 3 months because he never apologized and so I just stopped talking to him.

If I asked him for the music, I would provide him with CDs and just tell him to put the stuff in mp3 format on the discs. But I don't want to talk to him, I just want the damn music. I know, it's selfish.

I don't know what to do. Do I ask him? or Do I limp along and try to find some of that stuff but know that it make take me years and money (that I def don't have) to get it?

I break equipment, ask me how!

2006-06-11T09:14:00.000-06:00

I will post about the Smoosh concert and Londyn's wonderful dance preformance when I can upload the photos. IF I can ever upload the photos....

So the trouble started a while back... my iPod decided that it would be funny and play 10 seconds of a song then skip to the next track or freeze or play 2 seconds then skip 10 play 2 skip 10, etc. All in all, it was acting goofy.

Then is started showing this little folder with the website address for iPod support.

iPod: "Look at me! Look at me! I can make this little folder graphic come up and I will stop working! See! Look! I stopped working while you have to make an hour drive to Estes Park!"

Me: "Fuck."

I guess I would feel better if it gave me the sick iPod icon. It is cute and I would have more sympathy for my baby. But apparently I really don't want this icon since it just means my iPod music is almost not recoverable. I did get it once but then it went back to the folder icon.

After getting the little folder, my computer stopped recognizing my iPod.

I go through all the steps on the website, and nothing works.

So yesterday I was on the mission to fix my iPod. I drove down to L-wood and my dad tried to help me.

We attached it to his computer and it came up, but SharePod wouldn't allow us to download music, it freaked out,a nd the computer had to be rebooted.

Upon reboot, iPod wasn't recognized by the computer.

Meanwhile I was trying to get Norton antivirus installed on my laptop figuring that might help my laptop run better. It didn't. It now takes 30-45 min just to start up, and about 20 min to open Task Manager. So I am going to take 2 or 3 hours today and uninstall Norton.

So at one point in our trying to get one of the three computer to recognize the iPod, it turns on and has no playlists, no music. 20 gigs, gone. This includes music that I can never recover (ie not on computer, not on CD). I start crying. It is all gone, no song, no playlists, nothing nothing nothing. After regaining my composure, I call Apple.

My iPod is 6 month out of warranty but I figure I will give it shot. I go through the menu and then I get super freaked out. They have this automatted thing that asks you to state what the product is (ie Ipod) and then replies "I think you said Ipod... is that correct?" Okay. It is not weird to talk to a machine, it is weird to talk to a machine that sounds exactly like Jeff. Kid you not. I suspect Jeff is working for Apple now.

Note: I did get my laptop working after 4 and half hours, I uninstalled Norton and it works great again.

Anyway after about 20-30 minutes on hold in which they transfered me to two different call centers, I get Susan. Susan works for Apple and is a bimbo.... I discover this in the first 10 perky seconds of our conversation. I picture Susan with dark brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, she has fake boobs, is thin, flirts with her boss and is fucking the guy in cubical 86 on her lunch breaks. Susan does pilates and yoga and just loves working for Apple. She doesn't listen to music, but rather talk radio.

But enough about Susan. She gets the serial number of my iPod wrong about 3 times, my e-mail wrong 2 times... and upon discovering that my iPod is out of warranty, tries to sell me into a $49.95 phone call (which was said with an oh so annoyingly perky tone).
The conversation goes like this: "Well Stephanie, your iPod is 155 days outside the warranty." Me: "I know." Her: "It is 155 days outside the warranty." Me: "Yes, I know." Her: "It looks like it expired in January." Me: "Yes, it did." Her: "Your iPod is 155 days outside it's warranty (if shes says enough time maybe it'll change??) Well I can refer you to some very helpful websites (states website iPod told me to go to)" Me: "Yeah, already been there, didn't help *about to cry with anger and frustration* and I just lost 20 gigs of music." Her: "Oh..... (this is the only time she didn't loose her perkiness) (it didn't last long)... well for $49.95 you can have one phone call for tech support since your iPod is 155 days outside the warranty!"

All I have to say.....fuck you Apple!

Okay so now I have a broken iPod. I play with it some more to see if anything will come up, we tried plugging it into the computer and hoping it will recognize it enough so I can put some music on it for the drive home.... but alas nothing.

My dad unplugs it and is about to hand it to me when he stops...
"What?"
"All you playlists are back..."
"WHAT?!?!"

Yes, aparently I still have all my music on there....this gets a great big "WHAT THE FUCK?"

It worked driving home and this morning. Now it just give me the little folder and makes some sad clicky noises.

I am going to take it to Geek Squad now. Apparently if an iPod is jostled too much it will go into a safe mode and no longer allow access to the data. So I must dash and hope they can fix it.

Oh and the transmitter was hit by lighting on Friday.... after I had finished sub DJing. It is limping along and still making little buzzy noises once and while on air.

I have like reverse Midas touch.

My throat hurts, I smell like an ash tray, and my tummy is upset.... but it was worth it.

2006-06-03T07:09:00.000-06:00

So Jason (paleo) told me that he really wanted to go to the Scumdowner sometime this week. I was like, hell, sure, why not? My class ended on Friday so I wanted to party. I invited Mike and Londyn. My poor Londyn had a dance preformance and was pooped so we played text message tag instead. Which is hard to do when you are drunk, but I'll get to that.

We met at the Scumdowner at 9pm, I saw Mike on the bus as I was coming down to Pearl St. Jason joined us about 20 min later, followed shortly by Rob (British dude). It was awesome to be all spiffed up and surrounded by three guys. We hung out and had a few drinks. Over the course of the night I had: a red bull and vodka, a glass of PBR, a pint of Sunshine Wheat, a pint of Guiness. One pint and I have a good buzz so needless to say I was drunk. Plus I haven't much since the 1190 pledge drive celebration (glass of wine here and there), it was my goal to make it to my dad's birthday without heavy drinking... which was Thursday. I rock. The booze made me sleepy, flirty, and giddy as fuck. When I would stop dancing and being hyper or mini-pouncing Mike, I would be about ready to fall asleep. Which also gave me the excuse to lay my head on Mike's shoulder and cuddle up next to him.

We played fooseball, which I sucked at since I was drunk. Jason and I took over the jukebox for about 2 hours (as we usually do when we go to the scumdowner). They've added Death From Above, Ladytron, as well as other great albums. Mike and Jason played pool against this weird dude while Rob and I shot the shit about music. After Rob left, Jason and Mike got into this deep philisophical discussion which even if I could get a word in edge wise, I really didn't have anything to contribute. When it turned to literature and art I was a bit better, and I was able to talk a bit about Islam at one point in the conversation. For the most part though I was pretty quiet and just listened and took cat naps. I also text messaged Londyn. :-D

One thing I discovered is that Mike does indeed still smoke, which is like my number one requirement for guys is non-smoker. But I still like him. Aparently he now only smokes in the evening and when he drunk. So yeah,for the first time ever, I have a crush on a smoker. This is the only thing that turns me off about Mike... but if he is going to do it, at least he looks sexy while he's doing it.

Jason and Mike waited with me while I called a cab. I was a little cold and leaned up against Mike for warmth. Throughout the evening Jason hinted at the whole Travis mess which prompted me with many, "Shut up Jason.... don't remind me". I probably sounded really bitter, which I am but when I am drunk it's even more so. I hope I didn't sound like I have too many issues because I really don't it's just because we were so close, so many things remind me of that doomed craziness.

When my cab didn't show, Mike walked me to 9th and Pearl where there is aparently a cab pickup area. He asked if I would be okay while I waited, I said sure because there were tons of people around and I can hold my own, even with a bit of a buzz. I gave him a couple of huge hugs and thanked him. I went to kiss his cheek and it was like we both went to kiss but were almost too shy to, like we weren't sure how the other would react. So it ended up being a peck on the corners of our mouth. I was sorta surprised that it happened like that, since I had been aiming for cheek, he for lips, and we met halfway. We huged several more times... and as he walked away I made sure he'd be okay getting home and then sorta walked up to him and kissed him on he lips, it was just a quick peck...but yeah. What was satisfying was that he didn't have what I call "dead lips" which is where you kiss a person but there is no response, like kissing a corpse (right, since I know we all do that in our spare time) but you get what I mean. Yes it was a short peck (but his lips did kiss back), and we were drunk, but hell it was something. :)

The cab driver was very nice and dropped me at my door and made sure I got home alright, therfore I gave him like a 45% tip partially cause the ride was cheaper than I expected.

This morning my stomach hurt but I took some pepto and it seems to have calmed down. I am tired but after 4 hours of sleep, I actually got to the station early and was bright eyed and bushy tailed. I think when I get back I will take a shower and lay down for a while. I do need to do the logs (by hand because the printer at the station is broken... again) and buy a textbooks (which between last night, groceries, gas, rent and now textbooks... there goes yesterday's pay check). Oh and hopefully see Londyn dance! :-D Plus laundry AND... dishes.

So with the whole Mike thing, funny story. Thusday night I had a dream about Mike and in the dream we were parting for the night and we ended up sort of kissing, several short pecks on the lips and lots of hugs. Maybe that is why I had the balls to actually intiate a second peck. It was the first dream I have had where I kissed Mike.

I am not sure what the next step should be with the Mike thing but you know whatever.... we'll just see what happens. I am just going to play it cool and see what he does.

Current Music: Devotchka off their 1998 debut self-titled release
Current Mood: Very happy with a slight headache

Movie and CDAF

2006-05-29T20:12:00.000-06:00

The movie was awesome. Mike (aka crush boy) picked me up at my apartment. I decided on the new skirt, hamtaro shirt and converse. Cute and indie. Mike's mom seemed to like me. We hung out for a while before the movie. Mike and I sat together during the movie and made little comments throughout. It is a good movie (okay I have not read the book so keep that in mind) but I love Audrey Tatou. She rocks my socks. I had a ton of fun with him and his mom.

Mike said he might not be able to go to the Colorado Dark Arts Festival. He asked I call him after my show and he let me know. I called him the next day but he said he had a bunch of stuff to do in Boulder.

I drove down to Arvada and picked Londyn up. We stopped at Kokoro so I could grab some lunch (yummy yummy curry) and then headed to the Church. We kept gettin stared at where ever we went, I kept forgetting we were looking like a couple of goth kids. It was fun but Londyn and I are "social vampires" and there just wasn't enough energy happenin' for us. We did see some interesting characters, most of whom were checking us out. There was "Devil Lurch" and the guy with mowhawk hair who owns a hearse and was taking pictures. If you'd like to see more pictures Gothic Enigmacy has tons of photos and also video of the bellydancers.

We walked to Cafe Netherworld and hung out there for a bit. There was a really cute gay bartender, he was really funny. We also stopped by Pandora's Box and Buffalo Enchange (and this cool guys' shop to try on hats) just for kicks. Everywhere we went, we had eyes on us. We decided to call it a day and walked back to the car. We got a "Hey Ladies!" a guy yelled from a car....which made us giggle. We totally need to dress like that more often. We grabbed Burger King for dinner and then I drove up to Boulder (which was a windy ass drive).

Current Mood: Tired and don't want to process data... still.
Current Music: Well I should listen to the new Elequent CD but I am watching TV (Stargat SG-1 and Deadliest Catch).

Movie and his mom....

2006-05-27T17:26:00.000-06:00

My crush just called, he asked if I would like to go to see the Da Vinci Code with him... and his mom.

I am both excited and nervous. Not sure what to wear but I think I am going to hop in the shower and get cleaned up. I have a new skirt, I might see what looks good with it. I really looking forward to tonight and to see what happens. :)

Giddy happy feeling...

2006-05-26T18:47:00.000-06:00

So I went to dinner with my crush. He paid...I know. How awesome is that. We went to the Dark Horse, it was a total blast. We laughed, we talked alot (as always with us) and the silences (few and far between) were not uncomfortable. And yeah it was his suggestion to go to dinner and that he'd pay.

We had a total blast, I am so happy. Plus he is going to call me like tonight or tomorrow and then he is going to come on Sunday to the Colorado Dark Arts Festival.

I did give him his birthday present. I bought him Last Night a DJ Saved My life which he really liked. He's a reader so I thought he'd like a book. He was like "wow, my parents didn't even get me a gift..." He was sub DJing today and after I had finished wrapping it, I snuck up behind him and gave him a hug, kiss on the cheek and his gift.

We didn't get to go to the bars last night, he wrote my number down wrong and I didn't have his. We fixed that.

:-D

It's tough to have a crush...

2006-05-24T22:10:00.000-06:00

So I am still not over the ex, it is hard to love someone, get hurt, and then try to rebound from it. Mostly it is hard because we had so much in common, it is hard not to be reminded of him, esp when I have to drive past his house to get to campus. It's made me rather depressed but I am getting better.

I was eating pretzels and watching "Sex in the City" (....shut up. I know it's stupid and girly) One of the characters says "For as long as you've been dating, it should take you half that time to get over him." Well I officially broke it off April 8th, so it's been about a month and a half which is about right since we dated just shy of 3 months.

Although I am still pissed he has never apologized, it is for the better anyway.

So I have a crush, well a continued crush. I have had it for nearly 3 years... I know right, crazy. Basically no matter what has been going on, or who I have been dating... still had a crush on this guy. Tomorrow is his birthday and we are suppose to go bar hopping and though we've gone to sushi once and hung out, we've never gone bar hopping which just lends itself to drunk flirting. I hope it goes well, we always have fun together.

Dear Mom, I think all the trouble started the day you put me in the suitcase...

2006-05-23T20:24:00.000-06:00

Type in "suitcase" in google image search and you find the disturbing trend of babys in suitcases.

Oh, btw, if anyone has an old cool suitcase they want to give me, like an old brown case one that'd look way awesome with stickers and stuff on it....let me know.

I need to stick my baby in it.

Dead Pigs and Bronchitis

2006-05-22T14:15:00.000-06:00

Short little update.

First of all I will explain this Maymester class I am taking. It's through Geology and counts a field course, woot. It's GIS forensics so it's map making and forensics combined. It's pretty sweet.

We are working with a group in Highlands Ranch called Necrosearch (aka the pig people). About 20 years ago they started burying dead pigs (*note* these pigs were already on they way to the slaughterhouse, however for one reason or another they were not fit for meat so they were killed humanely and donated to Necrosearch). So they have a plot of land that was donated by the Douglas and Arapahoe county law enforcement and they burry these pigs and then study the decomposition. Why pigs? Pigs are used because in Colorado you cannot bury human bodies for scientific research (you can in Tennesse however). Pig are about they same body weight, nearly hairless and decompose similar to humans. They now have about 20 pigs buried in a variety of ways (ie stabbed post-motem and wrapped in a shower curtain, etc.)

Friday we went down the the "Pig Farm" as it is called. We are helping Necrosearch map out where the pig bodies are on their land and helping them process some of their data. I got the task of using a GPS Camera and photgraphing three pigs that were placed on the surface. One was the insect pig that had a net to catch the bugs that came to the area. The second was a pig placed in a cage (so it couldn't be scavenged) and then a camera was mounted to take a time lapse of the decomposition of the body. The third was placed near a trailer and left in the open. Mounted on the trailer was a motion sensor camera that took photos so they could see what animals had scavenged the pig. The GPS camera takes a digital picture as well as the exact location of where that picture was taken. I found tons of bones around the area where scavenged pig once was. My project is going to map out where these bones are and that will give Necrosearch an idea of how animals drag away parts of the body and where bones end up.

It's a really cool class. We also used ground penetrating radar to look for pigs that were burried under where a werehouse was built. Depending of what the material is it can look pretty far down into the surface. We could see about 2 meters down.

We spent about 7 hours out in the field and we go out again tomorrow.

Also Clark Devenport, one of the Necrosearch founders, his daughter did the same exchange group I did and went to Jannali about 4 years before I did. Crazy.
---
Went to the doctor today. Aparently I have Asthmatic Bronchitis. Spiffy.
I am on an albuterol inhaler. But it makes sleepy and dizzy.
---
Oh and my roommate just left for two weeks to go home to LA.
DDR anyone?

Invisible roommate

2006-05-17T18:27:00.000-06:00

I have an invisible roommate. (She probably feels the same way about me). It's kinda nice actually but I've seen her maybe once a day since I moved in last week. She is very nice and I met her boyfriend, Tom, who is a geology grad student and I knew from a Moab trip where he drove our van. (I am not sure what he thinks about me because I was in a van with Paleo-Jason, my friend Erica, and Rebecca, and the combination of us equals extreme crazy raunchiness). But yeah, Arwen is really cool.

It got me thinking though, man does a boyfriend take up time... I really didn't notice but yeah, relationships are alot of work aren't they? Glad I don't have one now, gives me plenty o' time to play and sleep (okay and work, gotta do that too).

Speaking of which, I should get working on my map for class. My GIS forensics class is fun but it wears me out quickly since I am still sick. Better though, I can finally talk as of this afternoon, this morning I was barely a squeek. Plus everyone at the radio station was glad I was back (I had to miss the meeting yesterday cause I was sick), made me feel loved.

2006-05-16T21:14:00.000-06:00

Maybe it's because I am insanely sick, maybe it's because I am tweaked out on NightQuil and should be in bed, maybe it's because I haven't had anything to eat today... but this is the best damn Blueberries and Cream oatmeal ever!

Now that my tummy is happy, back to bed.

2006-05-14T20:17:00.000-06:00

I think this is what it's like to step into the Twilight Zone. A bad band doing covers of Weezer while old guys thinking they can really dance. Both funny and mildly disturbing at the same time.

Gotta quit..... (shit.)

2006-05-14T08:13:00.000-06:00

I have to quit at the Fox. My body can't handle the stress already and classes start tomorrow. I woke up this morning and was walking back from the bathroom when I tripped and then collapsed. I didn't even work a show last night but my body is just exausted. Today I feel like I am hungover, the lack of sleep caught up with me. I slept 8 hours but I still feel like I am going to collapse at any moment.
It's sad. I really wanted to work the Smoosh/Eels show, and The Streets show, and Peaches, now I am just going to buy tickets. Oh well. I was going to try to make it through mid-June to work the first two shows but I just can't do it. For a volunteer position, it's not worth stressing my body out over it.

I am depressed and relieved. If anyone has some time off this week just to like hang out or something, give me a call. I could use some socialization. I've taken to having my daily conversations with the clerks at Safeway and Blockbuster, pretty sad.

Oh and I watched "Everything is Illuminated". Love it! It's awesome film. It's one I think everyone should see. Plus I started cracking up when I saw the polka band is actually Gogol Bordello. Plus Eugene is an amazing actor, so is Elijah Wood. I am totally going to start saying "premium" instead of great or wonderful. I want it on DVD and I want the soundtrack.

Oh and if I haven't said so, I have a new show on 1190. Tuesdays 11pm-1am. It's called "Culture Clash" and it's going to be hip-hop, rock, pop, etc. from around the world, not in English. It's going to be more fusion and not so much traditional, like O-hum and Truckstop and stuff.

Dream and words that turn me off

2006-05-13T09:41:00.000-06:00

Last night I dreamed about Travis. Blah. This is the first time in about 3 weeks that I have dreamed about him.

So when I was working the Fox the other night I found a word that totally shuts me down to a person, calling me "honey".

Now let me clarify, my girflfriends/gay boys can call me "honey", that's fine. I use it as well.
BUT when a slimy guy who I haven't even met calls me "honey", yuck! I just didn't want to have anything to do with him. "How you doing, honey?" "You need help with that, honey?" So if you are male, straight and we aren't dating.... don't call me "honey".

Unpacking and unpacking and unpacking....

2006-05-12T18:54:00.000-06:00

SO....

Moved into the new apartment. It's sweet. Dead quiet over here and lots of room (well a good amount for me thus far). Plus my roommate is really cool (if she's around, which is really infrequently). It's a wee bit cold since we are in the basement and really don't want to run the heat. I am trying to figure out ways to deal with it; sweatshirts, blankets and slippers have been my solutions. I leave the blinds open in my room to warm it up slightly but although I get quite a bit of sunlight, it's not direct. I am going to get my halogen lamp this weekend and that will heat up my room nicely.

I finally got my computer hooked up to the net and yes, Amy, I did find my mic. It was about 1 inch away from where I was looking before....however, it's now in a box somewhere because I had to pack it. But my wireless card isn't working. It's odd. Hopefully my solution of running a CAT-5 all the way around the apartment to my computer will work and Arwen (my roommate) will still be able to use the wireless for her computer.

In other news, I GOT A C- IN PHYSICS!!! woooooot!!!
Thank goodness I am done with that class.
I had to double check that they had sent me the right grades because I thought maybe they had sent me someone elses grades. There must have been a killer curve in the class.

Amanda and Katie graduated. I got to see Adam (Amanda's boyf), Alexa (my former roommie), Maddie (her sis), Jason (paleo), John (Adam and Amanda's friend) and Julie (Amanda's sister). Plus I got to meet most of Amanda's family. I missed the Geology gradutaion (I had to work the Fox last night so I was tired this morning), but I saw Henrietta and I will see her again on Monday (she is teaching the maymester class I am taking.... GIS forensics).

Speaking of the Fox, got to work with Travis (1190 Travis not drunken ex-Travis). He was the stage manager. I also met one of Sam's roommates, Jessica, who seems pretty cool.

Okay I am going to force myself to stop being a heroin addict who just found a stash (ie. spending all my time on the internet because I haven't had it for 3 days).

Finals blew....and moving!

2006-05-10T07:47:00.000-06:00

Finals sucked. Got a 40 on my physics final and a 75 on my audio production (eventhough I thought I did much better, I will most likely end up with a C in the class.... fuck.) Let's hope I get at least a D in physics.

I am moving into my new apartment. I will post pictures soon, it'll be awesome. I hate tons of stuff to move so I should get back to packing.

Fun with internet videos

2006-05-06T08:59:00.000-06:00

First of all, Ze has a new thing he's doing daily, it's kinda like a news of the day video... and as always a total crack up.
He calls it The Show.

YouTube.com how I love thee, here's some great videos.

She's cute. She's sings. She's like a Japanese Bjork. And she has about 20 creepy backup dancers. It's Yuki with her song "Joy".

Why is Japan so weird? My guess is because its because of bands like Yatta!

Break from Japanese weirdness...
In the land downunder there is a kickass band called Spiderbait. In the search for the wonderful "Glokenpop" video (which I did not find), I did get to see their Black Betty video.

Alright so back to so back to the weird ones. German version of ABBA. I want to learn this dance.

Londyn, we should make a music video of all these bizzare dances....to like Ok Go or something.

I found an actual Gogol Bordello music video. Two things you learn, Gogol Bordello is bunch of crazy gypsies, and Eugene loves to strip.

I still need to see this movie. I really need to see this movie. I've heard it's awesome, plus it's got music from Devotchka and Gogol Bordello (Eugene is the translator, yes sans mustache).

This is what happens when people watch too much MTV, listen to too much Devotchka (is there such a thing as too much?) and have way too time on the hands. I hate My Chemical Romance but this is kinda funny.

Okay I will stop, there are too many cool videos....well I will leave you with Star Trek Cribs.

A long sea of paperwork me thinks....

2006-05-04T19:45:00.000-06:00

Alright, so my project went well. I did a Radio 1190 Roots segment on T.Rex. It was spiffy. Mike liked all our projects.

Talked to Jeff (former DJ at the station) yesterday, as well as payed rent and got the keys to my apartment. One week from today I will be in my apartment.

I worked the Fox last night. It was fun, the bands were really cool, they gave me t-shirts and CDs cause they liked me. The bassist for Kinetix told me I was the best intern they've worked with. It was a long night and I didn't get to bed till 2:40am. I have this massive nasty bruise on my arm, it is like a welt and am sure it's going to look really nasty.

So I tried to register for my CU-Denver classes for this summer only to find out I can only take up to 6 credit hours each semester at CU-Denver which completely fucks up my plans for school. I had planned to take 9 credits hours this summer and 12 in the fall. Tomorrow I am going to take to the Academic Advisors and see what I can do to get around this because I am going to be taking classes that they don't offer at Boulder and by them having this they are restriciting my education. They get my money either way, I don't see why it is an issue. If they will not allow me to take the classes I need (because I am working on a Music Business Certificate) then I am going to transfer. Yeah, it'll suck but I may have to do it. We'll see.

Current Mood: Very tired and pissed off.

Fox Theater

2006-05-02T01:26:00.000-06:00

I am the newest intern at the Fox Theater. Omg my feet are numb from standing and I am exausted, I worked from 2pm till 12:45am.

I am going to bed, will write later. Have lots and lots of shit to do this week and I work again on Weds.

Current Music: "Wonder World" by Supercar. Saw the vid on Pop Japan TV, but you can also see it here. (hit refresh or enter on the link when it comes up and it'll work). It's weirder than a Bjork video.

Stick It

2006-04-28T09:24:00.000-06:00

Okay, so it's from the writers of "Bring It On" but don't let that stop you.

So Sam (another DJ at the station) did gymnastics in high school and when I saw the trailer for this moive, I told her about it. Well about a week later we got a pack of passes at the radio station so Sam and I decided, let's go see this movie.

The sneak preview was in Cherry Creek last night, and I gotta say this movie was actually really funny. I expected it to be really stupid, and it was to some degree. I don't think guys would like this movie and don't expect an intellectual drama. However the music was awesome, I would even dare say I might get the soundtrack to the film. I kinda figured out that I would like this movie when they have the main character Haley running from the law to Punjabi MC. It was just a damn good film. Plus Haley is a total badass, bonus points.

And I got free hair ties after the film.... :D

(just looked up the soundtrack.... good stuff: Talib, Missy...what? I like Missy...., Jurassic 5, Punjabi MC... bad stuff: Blink 182...I hate Blink... still might have to get the soundtrack though)

Phew.

2006-04-26T09:15:00.000-06:00

For the first time in about 3 weeks, I woke up feeling refreshed and ready for the day. It's an amazing feeling.

I had a dream last night where I was an explorer and discovered a new planet that was inhabited by semi-transparent creatures. Fun dream. First time in a while where I did not dream about Travis. The planet was so pretty, all the oceans were a lovely shade of bright blue and the whole planet had so much growth. I am sure that would change over time since it had just been discovered by humans.

um...yeah. That is really about it. I'm hungry and going to see what I can find to eat and then make my way to class. It is still hell cold in here, but luckily the sun is out and my window is South facing. I wish I could have a heater, or they would turn the heat back on. I've just been wrapped up in my down comforter and blankets, it's pretty okay when I am sleeping, it jsut really blows during the day when I am trying to do stuff in my room.

Oh yeah, the F won't make a huge dent to my GPA, but I doubt I will ever get over a 3.0 now. :-p

Shitty Day

2006-04-25T13:22:00.000-06:00

Found out they won't drop my Mars class. They (being the Academic Advising Center) gave me some BS song and dance and said "fuck you". So I automatically get an F.

The heat is off in the building, wheeh it's like 65 in my room and still trying to snow outside.

I really don't want to go to Physics recitation, so I am not going to.

Yeah....

Sorry I have been whinny lately, besides seeing Londyn.... there really hasn't been anything good going for me lately.

On...well everything. part 2

2006-04-24T20:49:00.000-06:00

Spring Break finish...

Okay Thursday, didn't do a whole lot, just chilled, needed to have an off day.

Friday, drove up to Estes Park to see my mom. Hung out with her most of the day which was nice, saw her new apartment, the cats, her new cheesy windchime. Seriously it's like uber white trash kiche....it's awesome.

I bought a ton of records in Estes from the thrift store including a bunch of Japanese and Chinese 78s. I am going to have Uncle Jeff transcribe them for me. yay! I got this really odd "Poi Dog" album record by this Hawaiian guy, I put it up in my office (ie my corner of the radio station).

My car battery died in the parking lot of the Safeway in Estes so I asked this UNC student for a jump, she was really nice about it.

On my way down into Boulder I stopped at the new development in North Boulder. Took a picture of the olf Drive-In sign that is still up with all these houses around it, pretty weird.

I really wanted to do some put-put golf (it's across the street) but when I called Trav, his dad was still over so I said scratch those plans. He had been felling ill so I took him some flowers and a get well kit later on and left so I could get to bed early.

I was really concerned with getting my stuff together for pledge drive so I did that on Saturday and Sunday.

Sunday night, Rachel (DU) and I went to see Gogol Bordello. That was AWESOME. They kicked ass as always. I love the Fox Theater. Eugene got up on the bar that seperates the 21+ from the pit and was dancing on it. Rachel and I got Eugene's ass in our faces since we right on the bar.

Rachel went to class with me the next day and then I drove her down to Denver because of the RTD strike. When I got back to the station, Nat came in and told me that Gogol Bordello was going to be coming down to the station. A bunch of us hung out and they played a 20 min set (which I have on CD) and then I got a poster signed by them and pictures. As Eugene handed Larry back to me he said "That must be a deep and personal thing for you." It was sweet.

The rest of the week was realitvely uneventful. I went to have sushi with Mike (DJ at the staion) after one of the all station meetings. That was really fun, we talked a long while, he walked me home, and I learned alot about him. Bobby had me record the CD of the Month spot for April (yes, it's a "slightly stuffed up and on a crappy mic" me... they were also drilling above the prod room so as soon as I'd almost nail a sentence, they'd start drilling). We had the manager's dinner which was really really fun. I had this amazing shimp green curry over udon noodles. We hung out and laughed and had a grand ol time.

---

So pledge drive went pretty well. Saturday was pretty kickin', mostly because Paul donated 42 watts. Sunday was slow.... so I didn't beat last semester's record. But I will try again in the Fall. Mike and I rocked it on Monday, Chris and I rocked it really hard on Friday raising over $3000 in 3 hours.

I am loving my job as Traffic Director. It rocks.

I haven't heard from the Dean if I am going to have my class dropped. Here's hoping.

Physics exam went okay, did better than the first two exams and was still sick and only got to study for about an hour. I hope for a C or D in that class. We'll see how it goes.

I DJed for the UMC art gallery opening for a few hours. Got paid, woot! They had about 300 people through the gallery. I also got complimented about my outfit a number of times which was great too.

I swear I'd be either insane or dead if it weren't for the station, Londyn and my dad. I am counting down the days until the end of the semester.

Trav and I have made up somewhat, he still hasn't apologized so I therefore have put no real strain or effort into our friendship. Plus my body still hates me so it makes everything difficult. I have become quite the hermit over the past few weeks. Like I said, one the end of the semester comes I will be in new classes and a apartment and people will be back in town (Clay gets back from China soon!!).

Yeah okay, I am tired. Laying down now.

On...well everything. part 1

2006-04-17T20:59:00.000-06:00

Okay so spring break.

So the friday before spring break, Travis, Rachel (who goes to DU) and I went to Japan Night at the Bluebird theater. There were 6, yep 6, Japanese bands. Pretty freakin sweet. They were all good. I really liked the Emeralds who were 3 matching males and hilarious.

(in a cute Japanes accent, in between songs)
"We like cranberry juice! *takes a swig of cranberry juice* Denver, do you like canberry juice?!!? This is our favourite song to drink cranberry juice to!"

I got to meet the Emeralds afterwards and they signed a CD for me. One of the guys (bassist maybe?) really like my shirt (punk Hello kitty).

The drummer came up and was like:
"Oh we love Denver! We only been here two hours, we love Denver. But we not trying Rocky Mountain Oysters!" *we all laughed*

Tsu Shi Ma Me Rei rocked the house. I got to meet them as well and bought a t-shirt. They were adorable and punk at the same time. The guitarist was dancing around in a pink frilly dress and totally rocking out. The bassist was both creepy and awesome at the same time, she had her long hair in face and did some creepy ass backing vocals.

After the show I met Jay, who is one of my long time listeners who works for the Denver Zoo. That was really neat. As I was talking to him I suddenly had a very drunk Jessica (who does j-pop on 1190) hanging on me. She was praising Tsu Shi in a drunken slur and comparing them to Shonen Knife. She is so adorable.

So Saturday, Trav and I went over to Amanda's and took care of he dog. Like I said Xander is uber sick, poor puppy. We played Scene It, Scrabble, Monopoly and did laundry. The only thing I beat Travis at was Scene It, he kicked my butt at the other games.

Sunday, Trav and I went down to Denver. We found the malt shop from "Things to do in Denver When You're Dead" and took pictures. That was a bit of 20 min search because we only had a clue from the movie to go on. We were so happy when we found it. We're dorks.

We went to the library but they were closed for another hour, so we decided to grab lunch. Having a craving for malts, we went to Johnny Rockets (since the actual Malt shop was closed and soon to be turned into an art gallery). The malt was weak, more like a milkshake. We then headed back to the library, and dropped off and picked up stuff. We didn't spend too much time there.

On the way back we stopped at Costco cause we needed to pick up stuff. We also got some alcohol and went back to Travis'. Got drunk, watched "God is Great, I am Not" which is a good movie with Audrey Tautou however, with the booze, Travis situation, I cried at the end of the movie and didn't really stop. I was insanely depressed.

Monday, I don't recall right now what we did Monday. Weird. I am sure I'll remember.

Tuesday, went to the Denver Natural History Museum (yeah I know it has a new name but they changed it when I was living in Australia so I still call it that). Lines were long long long but we got to see Body Worlds. It is AMAZING. Totally recommend it. Really really really interesting. I'd love to go to Germany and see the bigger exibits.
We spent about 3 hours in Body Worlds, and after lunch at Pete's Greek Cafe (yum), we had to race through the rest of the museum. So we wandered through Hall of Life, and the stuffed animals, the Mummies (which I hadn't seen), and the new space exibit (which I also hadn't seen). I want to go back this summer and wander through the new stuff at the musuem some more. We also played in the gift shop for kicks.

Had Wendey's for dinner and hung out. I crashed on Travis' counch so that we could go to the Zoo early in the morning.

Weds, went to the Denver Zoo. We got in for free thanks to Jay. woot! There were tons of kids and their parents. I packed a lunch and albeit a little windy, it was really fun. We were having lunch when this mom came up and asked if he kids could see the gnome. I said sure and then asked if I could take a picture with the kids and the gnome. She said sure. It was a cute picture. Has to be the coolest/weirdest mom I've met. She rocks.

Got some great pictures with Larry and a squirrel. We were taking a break on a bench when a squirrel came up and tapped Travis on the shoulder. It was so weird! We got great photos with Larry and the squirrel. They are on facebook if you haven't seen them.
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Okay I need to lay down for a bit. I am still really weak and sick from the ER visit on Sat. so I can't sit up for long periods and am just exausted.

In the ER, again.

2006-04-16T13:23:00.000-06:00

Quick update.

I ended up in the Emergency Room yesterday. This will be the 3rd time in almost a year (recap: #1 elbow fracture last May, #2 Migraine in Nov. and #3 was yesterday).

You know it's bad when you show up and they changed their setup since Nov. and you notice it. They seriously moved and changed the counter at Boulder Hospital, it threw me off.

Anyway here's what happened. I DJed in the morning as par usual but didn't have anything to eat. So I stopped by Amanda's to pick up the keys to her house (her dog Xander is really sick so I was helping her out by letting him out while she was at work) and then I went to King Sopper's. I pick up food for the next couple weeks plus a sandwich and soda to devour in my car. As soon as I finished with the sandwich I felt immediately ill. I had like the worst stomach cramps....ever. So... I went back to the dorm and layed down. It felt like I was still super hungry so I ate a tangelo (I love tangelos) but it had no effect. Still immense pain. Two hours and a dose of Pepto later, still sick as all hell and can't sleep cause the pain is too intense.

Went to the ER (after making it to Amanda's and letting Xander out and calling up Joel to get sub for my show). They said I had either a stomach virus or food poisoning (which were both my intial guesses). They gave me a liter of fluid via IV and some anti-nausea meds. The nurse, Chris was really nice, as was the doctor. He came in a couple times to check on me and Chris was checking on me ever 15 min or so. Spent about 2 and half hours there and went back to the dorms.

When I got back I ended up getting into a fight with Vernon (my RA) but that's another story. He's an ass and doesn't do his job or even attempt to.

My dad came and picked me up, and I am home now. I am feeling betterish but now I am going to lay down for a bit. My dad bought me flowers and a stuffed cat as well as taking good care of me. yay! :) My dad rocks.

Happy Easter.

Last Day of Pledge Drive

2006-04-14T09:14:00.000-06:00

Current Mood: Sunburned, exausted, overbooked, undermotivated, still in limbo.
Current Music: "Me and Mia" - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists

Depressing Weekend

2006-04-09T15:12:00.000-06:00

I know, I haven't caught up with spring break. I will after pledge drive.

So I raised $660 yesterday for my show, but however today we only got $120. :( I am not sure why other than my callers must have been sleeping.

Yesterday I was extremely distracted while I was DJing. I asked Travis to come in and do the phones for my show (answer pledge calls). I was planning on taking him out to breakfast afterwards as a thank you for walking all the way from WillVill and answering phones for my show. He shows up at 7am, walks in (while Pat, our music director, is sitting there) and says "Hi Steph! I am still drunk from last night!!" and starts laughing. He stank of rum. He thought it was all fun and great.

I was pissed. I still am pissed.

The one weekend of the semester when I have to be on top of my game, the weekend that is so important to 1190, and he shows up to my work.... drunk.

At one point I scowled at him and said "Why did you even show up? You should just go home."

Even after he sobered up, he never apologized even though I was clearly ticked off and upset.

I sent him and e-mail and broke it off completely with him. He really fucked up and there was no way I could easily forgive or brush this off. This was just the last straw.
---

So there you have it. I am fairly depressed. I was pretty okay yesterday but when we didn't raise much money today I brought me down. I need something or someone to cheer me up but I am not sure what I can do. I have to go DJ J-pop and hopefully help them raise money. I think when I get back my dad is going to meet up with me and then I am going to do homework and laundry. I may try to get my room clean, I tend to do that when I am stressed or depressed.
Right now, it's both.

Current Mood: Depressed.
Currnet Music: Call it even - Dressy Bessy

GOGOL BORDELLO!

2006-04-03T22:25:00.000-06:00

I got to meet Gogol Bordello! Isn't the life of a radio DJ sweet.

More about that and Spring Break when I am less sicky and tired. There are some pictures on facebook.

I'm pregnant!

2006-04-01T06:27:00.000-07:00

... Happy April Fool's Day.

... it would have to be an immaculate conception for that to happen.

I wish Spring Break could just go on forever, next week is gonna be hell.

The sick wimp

2006-03-23T22:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sick.

So is everyone at the radio station, which is why I am not suprised that I caught it.

Finally got to see "Things To Do in Denver When You're Dead", good film... well I say that mostly because has Steve Buscemi and Christopher Walken and Christopher Llyod AND it is actually filmed in Denver (somehow the Bluebird became an adult theater but nevertheless...).

"Life is like a mustard burp, momentarily tangy, then gone..."

And well besides it being a fairly good film.... there's this crazy little malt shop in the film... I wanna find it. It's behind the Deep Rock Water Cooler factory in downtown... that's all I am going on. ;)

I haven't decided how I am decorating my corner of the 1190 office yet, I thought about my Liberace poster, but I really like it and I don't want someone to destroy it. I'll figure something out.

And I am officially a wimp. Man I used to have balls and say whatever I wanted to guys and give lap dances on halloween. Not anymore. I feel like I am slowly becoming introverted again as well. But yeah, I can't even say the simplest things to Travis. All I wanted to tell him was "I miss you." and I don't have the guts. Don't ask me why, I don't know.

Current Mood: Odd. and feverish.